8. After a score at a Duck football game you get to hug more than one person.
7. Fans may gripe often about escalating ticket costs for Duck football, but it’s still much less expensive than a divorce attorney.
6. No one at a Duck football game cares about my…height
5. Between whistles, foghorns, and calls there is always a lot of blowing at a Duck football game.
4. Duck football has never, in recorded history, had a headache.
3. Though there are four periods in a Duck football game, no one has ever yelled at me because of them.
2. When De’Anthony Thomas scores, not just De’Anthony Thomas is happy about it.
But the number one reason why Duck football is better than sex is that, like today when we have to wait for a night game, Duck Football can’t come soon enough.
Go Ducks! Spay the Cats!
I will be sending emails with links to recent articles in the near future so you don’t miss any juicy ones. We will have articles between Monday and Thursday every week, so if you sign up for the “FishLetter” with your email–no spammer will have it. (Promise)
Or send it by email to: email@example.com and I’ll put you on the list. We begin them soon.
(I will also put my thoughts in these emails/newsletters that cannot be publicly published throughout the football season as well. (Mr. FishDuck)