Top 8 Reasons Why Duck Football is Better Than Sex

8.  After a score at a Duck football game you get to hug more than one person.

 

7.  Fans may gripe often about escalating ticket costs for Duck football, but it’s still much less expensive than a divorce attorney.

 

6.  No one at a Duck football game cares about my…height

 

5.  Between whistles, foghorns, and calls there is always a lot of blowing at a Duck football game.

    

 

4.  Duck football has never, in recorded history, had a headache.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.  Though there are four periods in a Duck football game, no one has ever yelled at me because of them.

 

 

2.  When De’Anthony Thomas scores,  not just De’Anthony Thomas is happy about it.

 

But the number one reason why Duck football is better than sex is that, like today when we have to wait for a night game, Duck Football can’t come soon enough.

 

Go Ducks!  Spay the Cats!

 

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Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • Mitch

    Really???

  • Kim

    Thanks for reading, Mitch. Go Ducks.

  • longtimeduck

    Drivel and misogynistic- Charles please pull this.

  • wonderduck2112

    This is weird and uncomfortable… and I’m a guy who loves football.

  • jim

    Stick to your day job. Not even one of these is slightly funny. Go ducks.

  • duckboy

    This is so bad, even Chad Reed could have come up with a better list. Yeah, it’s that bad.

  • Betty Neet Lindley

    Number 7 ( escalating ticket prices for U of O games might well be the CAUSE of divorce ???