This afternoon at 4:00 p.m. Oregon and USC will kick off in the biggest game on the conference schedule to date. It will go a long way toward deciding conference supremacy, conference bragging rights, and whether those of us who gave the 7 1/2 points at betonline.ag last night will be buying Christmas presents for our kids. Since this afternoon will be spent in anxious anticipation of the game, I thought I would spend a bit of the morning sharing with you some examples of just what makes USC special.
Gunfire: I know that when I was helping my son decide where to go to college, one of the important things we wanted him to experience was going to class amongst a hail of bullets. Nothing helps you grow up faster than seeing your life flash before your eyes, and it having been such a short life you have to ask to see it again.
Hookers and Blow: Downtown L.A. is a cultural wonderland. On every street corner you can see a combination of junkies, thieves, whores, crackheads, crack whores, and USC alumni of recent vintage. It’s a very good thing that there are a number of top-notch medical facilities nearby.
State of the Art Transportation System: You’ll barely have time to work on your tan as you whiz along the famous freeways of Southern California. From Disneyland to Magic Mountain, fun in the sun is just a short drive away.
Co-eds: Okay, okay. I Googled “Ugly U.S.C. girl” and this was the first result I got. They DO have very nice looking coeds.
Famous graduates: While Oregon has to get by with Bill Bowerman, Alberto Salazar, Dan Fouts, Phil Knight, Kaitlyn Olson. Amanda Pflugrad, LaMichael James, Amanda Pflugrad, Steve Prefontaine and Amanda Pflugrad, USC does have some fame in their litany of alumni.
So there you have it. You can get a fine education at The University of Southern California. Good luck. No really, Good Luck! You’re going to need it.