Have You Ever Seen a Beaver’s Head Explode?

Dateline East Philomath: (AP) Chaos broke out in the back woods last Saturday when an Oregon State Beaver fan, overcome with what was happening on the field, spontaneously combusted. A mop and bucket brigade were dispatched forthwith to Section 125, where the unfortunate event took place.

 

 

While at first the identity of the Beaver fan pictured above was withheld due to the yuckiness factor, this reporter discovered that it was (used to be) Bennie Shinemixer. Mr. Shinemixer was born and raised in East Philomath and never was given a choice in college football loyalties…poor headless sap.

It was the first such episode of human involuntary pyrotechnics since Jeremiah Johnson danced into the Reser Stadium end zone too many times to count. This time the explosion was over a perceived slight by a member of the Oregon Ducks on the field. There was a post-play melee, some degree of stomping occurred, and Beaver fans throughout the stadium shouted their disapproval at what they perceived as a blatant display of unsportsmanlike behavior. Booing, face reddening, obscenity laced epithets, and fist waving were the order of the day as angry Beavers were appalled at what had just happened before their squinty little inbred eyes.

And this was only about the band.  You should have REALLY seen them get mad when DeAnthony Thomas got all up in their business.

 

Oregon Marching Band goes all gangsta’ at Reser.

 

 

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Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • Matt

    Utterly tactless and tasteless.

    • Kim

      Ah yes, the nature of the Civil War is one of “tact” and “taste”. Must have forgotten that bit of decorum in the tomfoolery, old chum.

  • Stephen Wallner

    I like this site, but sometimes I can’t believe what they waste their time writing

  • this is hilarious

    LOL

  • fishduck

    Guys…the site is not all serious. We NEED a little humor, and besides I could swear I saw some bursting pumpkins on that Saturday….

  • AWFUL

    This website is retarded now.