Hobby Ideas For Chip Kelly

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Well we dodged a bullet, friends.  A week ago it looked like we were looking at the end of the Chip era of Oregon football.  But he’s back.  He loves us like a Beaver fan loves the smell of fertilizer in the morning and all is right in Duckland (especially given the pasting basketball put on Arizona the other night).

 

 

There were Duck fans among us, though, that thought maybe Chip should look for a new task.  Maybe a new challenge.  I don’t agree with them.  As if restocking the finest football program west of Tuscaloosa isn’t task enough.  In light of those folks’ thoughts, though, I have some ideas of ways that Chip can feel fulfilled outside of being Oregon’s head football coach.

 

 

 

Lane Transit Driver:  The LTD route from downtown Eugene to Cottage Grove takes 64 minutes weekdays.  It leaves on the hour from Eugene Station, arriving in Cottage Grove four minutes after the next hour.  That’s ridiculous!  Chip would get the bus to C.G. in 28 minutes and arrive with a stylish reverse skid into the parking bay.

 

 

Domino’s Chef:  You probably know that Domino’s had to lose their “30 minutes or its free” promise because of the carnage on the highways caused by overstressed delivery drivers.  This would not be a problem if Chip was manning the oven.  If you ordered a large Kelly special with extra pepperoni, red pepper flakes and a two liter Pepsi at 4:20 p.m., it would be at your door by 4:14.

 

Chip Kelly at the Hearth

 

Governor of the State of Oregon:  By law “the Legislature convenes annually in February at the State Capitol in Salem, but sessions may not exceed 160 days in odd-numbered years and 35 days in even-numbered years.”  You and I both know that usually isn’t how it goes.  There are extensions and call backs and all manner of political hoop-de-doop.  Not with Governor Kelly in the governor’s mansion.  If Chip was the governor the above would read:

“The Legislature convenes annually in February at the State Capitol in Salem, but sessions may not exceed 160 minutes in odd-numbered years and no need to even show up in even-numbered years.”

 

Governor Kelly delivers the annual State of the State address in a record 18 seconds.

 

Before I go I want to thank someone.  Last week I got a note in response to the “I Would Rather Have a Colonoscopy” column that really touched me.  A guy who had recently gone through the procedure wrote to tell me that it isn’t all that bad, and wished me luck.  I was moved that he cared to write.  So thank you to Tim who sent me the note.

 

New 2024 FishDuck Publishing Schedule….

During the off-season the FishDuck.com publishing schedule will consist of articles on Mondays and Tuesdays. Do keep checking as new articles could be published during the week when a writer has something to say.

In mid-August of 2024, we will go back to the seven-days-a-week of articles during the football season as we did in the football season of 2023.

The Our Beloved Ducks Forum (OBD) is where we we discuss the article above and many more topics, as it is so much easier in a message board format over there.  At the free OBD forum we will be posting Oregon Sports article links, the daily Press Releases from the Athletic Department and the news coming out every day.

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