There Are Days When Life Sucks Major Eggs

I opened Facebook Wednesdy morning and saw a sad face beside the headline ”Kelly to take Eagles job.”  I felt bad for the Notre Dame fans.  You see, it had to be Brian Kelly because we had already gone through this with Chip Kelly.  Then, in response to the cold finger of fear that was working its way from my hairline down my neck, I clicked the headline…and saw the embodiment of my greatest sports fear.

Last year Chip said that he was staying in Eugene because he had unfinished business.  Who knew that 2nd place in the conference and smacking the snot out of Kansas State meant that much to him?  Chris Harper must have really made him mad.

Of course there is disagreement in chat rooms and message boards about what this means for the Oregon program.  As soon as the news broke there were those that bravely said, “Next coach up.” and “We’ll be as good, maybe better.”  The fact is, we should still be really, really good next year.  Solid nucleus, some star power, a contender.

But our meteor is likely to tumble over the next 5 years.  This was our Golden Era.  And it was brief.

Too brief.

The day will come when I can look back at these days and relive the BCS wins and our one trip to look at the mountain top only to have them change the rules for Michael Dyer  (and bend a couple for Cam Newton).  But for today I have a message for Chip Kelly, Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Dear Mr. Kelly:  You made us great, but we made you a rich man beyond your wildest dreams.  Taking a coaching job at the highest level is no sin, and the day may come when I wish you success with Philadelphia.  But you dipped your toe in that water and, for this year anyway,  announced to your fans that you were coming back to Eugene.  Now you are soaking up the transitory adulation in a city ironically named “The City of Brotherly Love.”

Two weeks ago I offered to take a colonoscopy if you would only stay with my beloved Oregon Ducks.  Well yours is ready, my friend.  And here is the instrument of its delivery.


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Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • worldwidewebfoot

    Kim, I don’t believe the negative tone toward the end of your story above. A picture of a shadowy devil-like image with flames and a hook? Is this what you were taught at Northwest Christian College? Has not Chip Kelly earned enough grace in the past four years for us to send him on his way (upwards, to the NFL) with a Godspeed and Thanks for the Memories? I think so.
    I think that Chip Kelly was a marvel, a credit to Oregon, the Ducks, the team, the players, the fans, and himself. I suggest that FishDuck should start a fund- raising campaign to commission a large bronze statue of Chip with the shirt, that visor, and no socks (as we found out he did not wear when celebrating Clay’s fumble recovery against Wisconsin). The statue should go in front of Johnson Hall. (Which should be renamed Lariviere Hall, but that is another story.)

  • Go eagles!!! Hope kelly can do what he did for the ducks for the eagles!!!

  • hokieduck

    I too am greatly saddened by the departure of Chip Kelly. But this post is uncalled for. Chip made a business decision. End of story. Let’s have some class, thank him for the greatest time in Oregon sports (at least since 1977) and wish him well.

    Go Helf. Go Ducks. WTD. Oh and Go Eagles, too.