Ducking Into Some Time Travel

When I was young I looked forward to the paper being delivered (in the afternoon back then) for two reasons.  Sports and comics.  I read the sports page in its entirety.  I picked and chose among the comics.  Blondie?  Check.  Beetle Bailey?  Check.  Prince Valiant?  Skip it.  Mary Worth?  Worthless.  My favorite, though, was Peanuts.  The wit and wisdom of Charles Schultz spoke to me in ways beyond just being funny.

Though I still loved the Peanuts gang when I got older, my taste in comics turned to strips with more of an out front social conscience.  I loved Doonesbury and Dilbert, but my favorite was Calvin and Hobbes

The sometimes apparent and sometimes sly humor of Calvin, negotiating a world of adults with a friend only he could see, spoke to my funny bone, and occasionally my heart.  It was Hobbes who once said this about changing the clocks twice a year.  ”Only humans would try to change the position of the sun.  Tigers prefer to leave nature in peace”

He’s right.  Two and a half centuries ago it made sense when Benjamin Franklin was concerned that candles were being burned at night and people were sleeping during the day.  Today, though, it makes an awful lot of people spend one or more days drowsy.

Nevertheless its what we do, and as a PSA from me to you, we do it tonight.  At 2:00 a.m. P.S.T. we will travel in time to 3:00 a.m. P.D.T.

What if we could choose to take this tiny bit of time travel and make it rain hours up in here?  I have some ideas for springing forward way more than one hour.

Spring Forward to the End of the NCAA Investigation:  Does anyone find it ironic that the same governing body that, in 48 hours,  found Cam Newton eligible to play in the National Championship Game, can’t decide on what to do with the University of Oregon in how many years now?  Two?  More?  Let’s find the agents who investigated Cam’s suddenly flush daddy and put them on the case.  We’ll know by lunch tomorrow.

Spring forward to the end of the NCAA investigation plus one hour:  That’s when heads explode all over the northwest when Oregon isn’t given the death penalty and all Duck fans lined up for a kick in the groin.  Our friends in Corvallis and certain “journalists” in Seattle are going to have aneurysms aplenty.

Bitter Beaver Face

Spring Forward to the Start of Fall Camp:  Spring ball is all well and good but its like being served  hors d’oeurves and then being told, “Your entree will be up in four months.”  All sound and fury signifying

Wait!

Fast Forward to August 31st:  Sure it’s Nick at Night State but after almost nine months without the greatest game ever invented by God and Amos Alonzo Stagg, WHO CARES?  Is the tailgate brat going to taste any worse?  Are the Ducks cheerleaders going to fly into the air to a lower altitude?  Is D’Anthony Thomas going to be any slower?  Heck, no!

Spring forward one hour?  Give me a break.  Let’s rock the clock.