Factoids About Colorado Aside from Their Sorry Football Team

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Who do we play next? Oregon? Well, hell!


Who do we play next? Oregon? Well, hell!

One game at a time, boys!  Supposedly Amos Alonzo Stagg was the first football coach to deliver that admonition to his team.  Stagg’s team never played the 2013 Colorado Buffaloes.  Oregon’s mantra of “Win the Day” was fulfilled on the very moment that Colorado joined the Pac-12 . . . and immediately bent over for the proctological exam to end all exams.

The point spreads for this game are 38.5 at Bally’s, 40 at Caesar’s Tahoe and “Are you f$%#@*g kidding me?” at The Flamingo Hilton.  Look, we at Fishduck Interstellar Marching and Chowder Society like to keep it real.  Colorado has a smaller chance of winning this game than General Custer had at Little Big Horn wearing skates and a tutu.

But that’s okay Buffaloes!  Football is more than just blocking, tackling and sucking the souls out of your fans in the student body on Saturday afternoons.  It’s about learning more of the culture and environment of the team who’s girlfriends are chasing our guys to the airport en masse  an hour after the game.

"Marcus!  DeAnthony!  Take me home to Eugene!  My team smells like feet!


“Marcus! De’Anthony! Take me home to Eugene! My team smells like feet!”

Factoid #1:  Colfax Avenue in Denver is the longest continuous street in America:  Good one, Denver.  Of course, it’s also the workplace of several hundred hookers on any given Saturday night.  But I have to give it up to Denver on one count.  6715 West Colfax is the address of Casa Bonita; famous for cliff divers, and an episode of South Park.  I must also make mention of the enchiladas made with Cheez Whiz!  Gee whiz.

Casa Bonita!  Casa Bonita!


Casa Bonita! Casa Bonita!

Factoid #2:  Dove Creek, Colorado, is known as the Pinto Bean Capital of the World:  Little wonder that much of the Rocky Mountain region’s supply of methane gas also comes from Dove Creek.

Dove Creek Mayor Jed Dodgerfan


Dove Creek Mayor Jed Dodgerfan

Factoid #3:  The State Motto of Colorado is “Nothing Without Providence”:  Legend has it that this motto was selected by a group of settlers homesick for Rhode Island.

Man I miss my fun size state


Man, I miss my fun-sized state.

Factoid #4:  A survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that Colorado had  more people who exercise than any other state:  True enough.  Colorado has a ton of folks that walk 10 miles a day!  If they keep that up for 130 days they’ll be in a town with a decent football team.

Welcome to Eugene!


Welcome to Eugene!

All in all, I’m glad that Colorado is on the schedule.  It’s a great and beautiful state in which to take a roady (and I mean that).  Also every team needs a bye before they play a real game.  Go Ducks! Batter the Buffs!



*You MUST watch the new video spoofing the interim USC coach by Glenn Hanna.  Too good!  (Click here).

*Want some more College Football humor?  Check out FishDuck.com’s GIF Collection! (Click here)  Pass it along!

*If you would like to join the other 60+ volunteers at this site, and have five hours a week to donate . . . we have slots open for volunteer GIF creators, and Video Archivists.  We have paid openings as advertising executives.  Can you help us manage people?  Consider our volunteer Manager positions and give some time each week to help young associates learn!  E-mail us at charles@fishduck.com.

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 Volunteer Position Openings:

--Media Management/Supervisor:  We are looking for someone beyond college age who can help manage students and mentor in a number of different departments. Expertise is not required as organizational skills and interest in guiding others.   --Assistant Football Analyst: Love college football and enjoy watching it for hours? We need associates to view games and find the techniques/teaching points we identify for them in advance.  You will be recognized in publications, and could have the opportunity to move to full Analyst.   --College Football Analyst: We are looking for Coaches, or retired coaches to help create analysis videos (we do the video part) that will be viewed by thousands, and will help young football players as well as fans understand the game much better. The national recognition will help your resume' as well as make an impact upon the game we all dearly love.   --Video Specialist: We are looking for help in the Eugene/Springfield area to assist with the shooting and editing of analysis videos.   All Positions: Send a resume' with full contact information and any writing samples you have to charles@fishduck.com  Again, these are volunteer positions donating five hours a week each.

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • BrandonG

    Lost a lot of respect for Fishduck today. This is juvenile.

  • Peter Neal

    I lost a lot of my lunch after fishtacos today.