‘Zona Fans “Bear Down” and Warm Up Bottle Throwing Arms as Oregon Comes Calling

UA Wildcats

While it’s not a “day that will live in infamy” to the same degree as Pearl Harbor, today is an anniversary of it’s own.  It was four years ago tonight that Oregon cheerleader Katelynn Johnson was struck in the head by a thrown water bottle at the end of Oregon’s 44-41 double overtime win in Tucson.

One might surmise that the Arizona fans were simply jealous


One might surmise that the Arizona fans were simply jealous of something besides football.

We at fishduck.com/anychancetopostphotosofKatelynnJohnsonisokaybyus like to take a…different kind of look at each week’s opponent.  This weekend the Ducks, sans cheer squad, travel back to “The land God forgot to water” for another battle with the Wildcats.  So today we focus on the State of Arizona:

1.  ”Arizona” Comes From the Pima Indian Word “Arizonac”:  Which means “Because New Mexico is hella ugly and  too close to California.”  It’s a little known fact that Arizona was originally scheduled to be named a state on February 13th, 1912, by President William Howard Taft.  However, the 13th was considered unlucky by the sunburned folks of the Sonoran Desert, so Arizona became a state one day later on February 14th, transferring that bad luck to the rest of us.

Really?  A country that includes redwood forests and beautiful coastline needs THIS nonsense?


Really?  A nation that includes Redwood forests and beautiful coastline needs THIS nonsense?

2.  The Highest Temperatures in the Country Are Often Recorded Near Yuma. The Most Snowfall on Record is in Flagstaff:  So let me get this straight?  You folks have the nation’s worst weather on BOTH ends of the spectrum?  No wonder you’re so grumpy most of the time.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer on the day her embattled staff sang Happy Birthday to her.


Arizona Governor Jan Brewer preparing to throw a bottle at a small child who was singing Happy Birthday to her.

3.  Arizona’s Economy is Said to Be Made up of Six “Cs”:  These are Cattle, Copper, Citrus, Cotton, Climate and “Crap, it’s too Hot to Work.”

Arizona Department of Labor and Industry


Logo of The Arizona Department of Labor and Industry

4.  The Arizona Cardinals are the Oldest Continuous Franchise in the National Football League, Dating Back to 1898:  And, as Sigmund Freud once said, “That much losing isn’t good for anyone!”  There are 29 other teams to root for.  Pick one and stop being so miserable all the time!  Good grief you people piss me off!  Get out of my office so I can do a line of coke!


5.  The Original London Bridge was Shipped Stone by Stone and Reconstructed in Lake Havasu City.  Upon realizing it had traded in Buckingham Palace, Big Ben and Picadilly Circus for cacti and Gila monsters, the bridge scrawled “Please shoot me” in graffiti on it’s own walls.

"I'm embarrassed" Love, LB.


“I’m embarrassed.”  Signed, L. Bridge

This Saturday afternoon the Oregon Ducks will take their magic show on the road to take on the Arizona Wildcats.  If the game is close, the Ducks will win and bottles will be thrown.  If the game isn’t close, the Ducks will win, bottles will be opened and the tequila inside will be consumed.  

In either case, it’s a good weekend to be a bottle in Arizona.

Go Ducks!

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Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • Janet Reno

    Whaaat??? Arizona is the best place EVER. That’s why so many people live here… You will see on Saturday when Ka’Deem the dream runs all over the tiny Ducks, Kim. BEAR DOWN!

    • Kim

      Long time fan of yours, Ms. Reno. You are, of course, delusional about football, but thanks for reading anyway.

  • Mark A.

    Are you the same Kim associated with that Husky board? You look and write with much similarity.

    • FishDuck

      Mark! That is a TERRIBLE comparison, and I promise you that not only are they different people, but completely different MOs. The “other” Kim is a hardcore Husky, while this Kim skewers Huskies on his keyboard for the sheer joy of it.

      Our Kim is playful within his spoofs, while the “other” Kim is downright dishonorable, and even now is spurned by many of those in purple due to his now obvious “inventions of facts” about our beloved Ducks.

      Nice try.