Deep in the Dark Hearts of Texas


Good morning Ducks fans of good faith and disposition.  On behalf of and it’s international subsidiaries, allow me to be the first to wish you a Happy New Year and a pleasing beating of them Longhorns hailin’ from the University of Texas.

The Texas Longhorns.  What can be said about them that hasn’t already been said on NCAA investigations and court documents since football began?  Texas was an original member of the Southwestern Conference.  The SWC was so crooked that they chose this as their logo.

Young man we're from the Southwestern Conference.  Would you like a bag of money?

Young man, we’re from the Southwestern Conference, would you like a bag of money?

The Commissioner of the SWC portrayed himself as a man of high moral turpitude, leading the conference schools in pursuit of stellar academics and fair athletic play.  He soon became the symbol for all that was . . . unique about the Southwestern Conference.

Commissioner of the Southwestern Conference, J.R. Ewing

Commissioner of the Southwestern Conference, J.R. Ewing

Eventually the house that was the SWC collapsed under the weight of the court papers filed against it.

The headquarters of the SWC

The headquarters of the SWC.

The demise of their conference left UT/Austin to find another group to infiltrate.  After a brief flirtation with Dr. Horrible’s Evil League of Evil,

The 'Horns would have fit in nicely

The ‘Horns would have fit in nicely.

Texas decided to infect the Big 12, where they have been the . . . female dogs . . . to Oklahoma ever since.

The usual victors in the Red River shootout

The usual victors in the Red River Rivalry.

Ah, I kid the Longhorns but really, there is much to like about the University of Texas.  While it doesn’t have the scenery, decent weather, cultural diversity or choice of musical fare that Eugene offers, there is one category in which the two schools are much alike. For example, we both have cheerleaders.

Hook em' Horns

Hook ’em Horns

Go Ducks!

Go Ducks!

But just as a matter of personal taste, I like ours better.

Whatever happens in the Alamo Bowl, oops, the VALERO Alamo Bowl, two things are certain:  First, it will be a hard fought game between two fine teams.  Second, some of the views will be obstructed behind those big, obnoxious hats!

All hat and no cattle y'all.

All hat and no cattle, y’all.

Can I get a Go Ducks from the congregation?


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 Volunteer Position Openings:

  • Basketball Writer: Do you know the game and love to think about the upcoming season for our beloved Ducks?  Write about them!  It's fun doing homework on a winner!
  • Assistant Football Analyst: Love college football and enjoy watching it for hours? We need associates to view games and find the techniques/teaching points we identify for them in advance.  You will be recognized in publications, and could have the opportunity to move to full Analyst.
  • College Football Analyst: We are looking for Coaches, or retired coaches to help create analysis videos (we do the video part) that will be viewed by thousands, and will help young football players as well as fans understand the game much better. The national recognition will help your resume' as well as make an impact upon the game we all dearly love.
  • Video Specialist: We are looking for help in the Eugene/Springfield area to assist with the shooting and editing of analysis videos.
  • All Positions: Send a resume' with full contact information and any writing samples you have to  Again, these are volunteer positions donating five hours a week each.

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."