Deep in the Dark Hearts of Texas

Good morning Ducks fans of good faith and disposition.  On behalf of and it’s international subsidiaries, allow me to be the first to wish you a Happy New Year and a pleasing beating of them Longhorns hailin’ from the University of Texas.

The Texas Longhorns.  What can be said about them that hasn’t already been said on NCAA investigations and court documents since football began?  Texas was an original member of the Southwestern Conference.  The SWC was so crooked that they chose this as their logo.

Young man we're from the Southwestern Conference.  Would you like a bag of money?

Young man, we’re from the Southwestern Conference, would you like a bag of money?

The Commissioner of the SWC portrayed himself as a man of high moral turpitude, leading the conference schools in pursuit of stellar academics and fair athletic play.  He soon became the symbol for all that was . . . unique about the Southwestern Conference.

Commissioner of the Southwestern Conference, J.R. Ewing

Commissioner of the Southwestern Conference, J.R. Ewing

Eventually the house that was the SWC collapsed under the weight of the court papers filed against it.

The headquarters of the SWC

The headquarters of the SWC.

The demise of their conference left UT/Austin to find another group to infiltrate.  After a brief flirtation with Dr. Horrible’s Evil League of Evil,

The 'Horns would have fit in nicely

The ‘Horns would have fit in nicely.

Texas decided to infect the Big 12, where they have been the . . . female dogs . . . to Oklahoma ever since.

The usual victors in the Red River shootout

The usual victors in the Red River Rivalry.

Ah, I kid the Longhorns but really, there is much to like about the University of Texas.  While it doesn’t have the scenery, decent weather, cultural diversity or choice of musical fare that Eugene offers, there is one category in which the two schools are much alike. For example, we both have cheerleaders.

Hook em' Horns

Hook ’em Horns

Go Ducks!

Go Ducks!

But just as a matter of personal taste, I like ours better.

Whatever happens in the Alamo Bowl, oops, the VALERO Alamo Bowl, two things are certain:  First, it will be a hard fought game between two fine teams.  Second, some of the views will be obstructed behind those big, obnoxious hats!

All hat and no cattle y'all.

All hat and no cattle, y’all.

Can I get a Go Ducks from the congregation?


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