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Deep in the Dark Hearts of Texas

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Deep in the Dark Hearts of Texas

Kim Hastings
Reported by Kim Hastings on December 28, 2013
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Deep in the Dark Hearts of Texas

Good morning Ducks fans of good faith and disposition.  On behalf of fishduck.com and it’s international subsidiaries, allow me to be the first to wish you a Happy New Year and a pleasing beating of them Longhorns hailin’ from the University of Texas.

The Texas Longhorns.  What can be said about them that hasn’t already been said on NCAA investigations and court documents since football began?  Texas was an original member of the Southwestern Conference.  The SWC was so crooked that they chose this as their logo.

Young man we're from the Southwestern Conference.  Would you like a bag of money?

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Young man, we’re from the Southwestern Conference, would you like a bag of money?

The Commissioner of the SWC portrayed himself as a man of high moral turpitude, leading the conference schools in pursuit of stellar academics and fair athletic play.  He soon became the symbol for all that was . . . unique about the Southwestern Conference.

Commissioner of the Southwestern Conference, J.R. Ewing

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Commissioner of the Southwestern Conference, J.R. Ewing

Eventually the house that was the SWC collapsed under the weight of the court papers filed against it.

The headquarters of the SWC

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The headquarters of the SWC.

The demise of their conference left UT/Austin to find another group to infiltrate.  After a brief flirtation with Dr. Horrible’s Evil League of Evil,

The 'Horns would have fit in nicely

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The ‘Horns would have fit in nicely.

Texas decided to infect the Big 12, where they have been the . . . female dogs . . . to Oklahoma ever since.

The usual victors in the Red River shootout

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The usual victors in the Red River Rivalry.

Ah, I kid the Longhorns but really, there is much to like about the University of Texas.  While it doesn’t have the scenery, decent weather, cultural diversity or choice of musical fare that Eugene offers, there is one category in which the two schools are much alike. For example, we both have cheerleaders.

Hook em' Horns

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Hook ‘em Horns

Go Ducks!

thesportsbank.net

Go Ducks!

But just as a matter of personal taste, I like ours better.

Whatever happens in the Alamo Bowl, oops, the VALERO Alamo Bowl, two things are certain:  First, it will be a hard fought game between two fine teams.  Second, some of the views will be obstructed behind those big, obnoxious hats!

All hat and no cattle y'all.

en.wikipedia.org

All hat and no cattle, y’all.

Can I get a Go Ducks from the congregation?

 

Top  Picture by www.sports-logos-screensavers.com

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About Author
Kim Hastings

Kim HastingsKim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."View all posts by Kim Hastings →


 

 

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Dano Dunn

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