Truths, Half Truths and Outright Lies About San Antonio

Good morning, Duck fans.  In the days and weeks leading up to the Alamo Bowl there will be plenty of time for others here at’resohumblewedon’tcapitalizefish to break down the Zone Reads and the tendencies of the Ducks, Longhorns, and whoever Mack Brown is coaching when New Year’s Eve rolls around.

Sign spotted in front of Austin 4 bedroom townhouse

Sign spotted in front of Austin 4-bedroom townhouse.

Likewise, there will be time for me to skewer the Longhorns, lately known as the Big 12’s version of WSU.  Indeed times have been trying for the University of Cow.

Mack Brown's last recruiting success-later disqualified for being 60 years old.

Mack Brown’s last recruiting success — later disqualified for being 60 years old.


But today we are about celebrating the city that will host our beloved Ducks when they take on Texas in the Alamo Bowl.  My crack(ed) staff found out the following tidbits about San Antonio.


1.  Everyone Remembers the Alamo, but Almost no one Knows . . . that this legendary tale of a brave band of folks up against desperate odds and doomed to lose, would later become the template for a football team far removed from San Antonio, or anywhere in Texas for that matter.  After all, no one loses like . . .

Has any team lost so much, and so well?

Has any team lost so often, and yet so well?


2. San Antonio was Named for St. Anthony of Padua:  St.Anthony’s Feast Day is June 13th when, in 1691, a Spanish expedition stopped in the area near what is now San Antonio.

NOT the Anthony for whom San Antonio is named

NOT the Anthony for whom San Antonio is named.


3. San Antonio is Home to the World’s Largest Sea World:  Texans see nothing incongruous about being thousands of miles from the nearest ocean and having the world’s largest Sea World.


"Still no ocean in sight, Cap'n.  Should I continue looking?

“Still no ocean in sight, Cap’n. Should I continue looking?”


4. Chili was Invented in San Antonio circa 1750.  No surprise then, that natural gas was discovered soon thereafter.


"Good chili, Mom. But..."

“Good chili, Mom. But…”


5. Mark Twain Once Called San Antonio “One of America’s Four Unique Cities.”  Joining, of course, Veneta, Scio, and Elmira, Oregon.

And a wondrous place it is.

And a wondrous place it is.


For those of you that are going to the Alamo Bowl, have a great trip!  But be advised of a possible venue change.  The Alamodome is currently being used by the 2011 Baylor Bears who are continuing to score against Washington.

Go Ducks!





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Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • William Rooper

    I would have added that the fight at the Alamo was part of a larger struggle for Texas to join the Union and not be part of Mexico,at least partly because Mexico did not allow slavery.

    • Kim

      Excellent points William. Thanks so much for reading.

    • DLW

      And to think: now, a whole ten-gallon hatful o’ Texans don’t want to be part of the U.S. Makes ya kinda wonder ’bout them folks.

  • princelv

    Actually San Antonio is less than 200 miles from the Gulf of Mexico NOT “Thousands of miles from the nearest ocean”.
    Please verify your information before printing!

    • Kim

      Thanks for reading, Prince. Yes, the Gulf is a half day’s drive away, which hardly makes S.A. a seacoast city.

      • greenbaaron

        Kim – you’re killing your credibility here. San Antonio is 134 miles from the Gulf. That’s roughly a 2 hr 15min drive. Not a half-day. Pretty bad dude.

        • FishDuck

          Let me see if I got this right….we have the geography police on a humor column?

          I think there are some people that need a LOT more humor…

        • Right you are guys. From now on when I think of a seacoast town and oceanfront property San Antonio, Texas will be high on my list.

  • ICamel

    Philomath has been slighted once again!

    “Mark Twain Once Called San Antonio “One of America’s Four Unique Cities.” Joining, of course, Veneta, Scio, and Elmira, Oregon.”

  • oregon111

    your ‘humor’ needs some help…

    why don’t mexicans in san antonio bar-b-que?
    the beans fall in thru the grill

  • oregon111

    also of note, if they would have won the Alimo, the Americans fighting there would have become some of the richest families in the country

    those guys had huge land claims – and they would have taken that land


    I can’t stand Texas just because of that two face BUSH standing next to Brown, and for that reason I hope we go in there and stomp the Horns because I’m sure that MORON will be there with the TAXPAYERS hard earned Money attending that Game, I meant the SS will be there guarding one of the 10 most worthless Presidents ever to serve. Him and his DADDY.