Anyone who has been tuned into sports news since Sunday knows about Richard Sherman. He’s the Seattle Seahawks defensive back (and Stanford grad) who scared the living tweedle out of Erin Andrews after the NFC Championship Game.
That Sherman should have behaved better is an accepted fact by those who believe in good behavior and an archaic word like “sportsmanship.” An apology (of sorts) was wrenched out of Sherman, likely at the behest of the Seahawks’ public relations department. Sherman’s teammates were, as expected, supportive.
But does this make Sherman the worst thing ever? Not even close. Here is a list of everyone and everything more annoying than Richard Sherman:
1. Budda Baker: Recruiting battles are waged across the country. Players commit, de-commit, dither, change their minds and break the hearts of fans everywhere. Oregon has both benefited and been hurt by these events. But the touted athlete from Bellevue High turned the knife a bit more than was necessary when he told Bleacher Report that he “couldn’t imagine living IN Eugene for four years.” Fine, Budda. I hope you like losing TO Eugene for the next four years.
2. Benton County: From Corvallis (also known as East Philomath or West Tangent depending on how updated your GPS is) to Lebanon the whole of Benton County . . . bothers me. The grass makes me sneeze, the speed limits are too slow and (from the north anyway) you have to drive through it to get to a better place . . . such as Brownsville.
3. The Dallas Cowboys as “America’s Team: The helmet-star team hasn’t been in a Super Bowl in the lifetime of a high school junior. It’s hot enough in Dallas to fry a pickle in the July sun and the city still had the audacity to be 33 degrees at kickoff of the ’96 Cotton Bowl . . . which ran out of hot chocolate before the game even started. If that isn’t enough, Dallas is tied with Buffalo for second place in the race to host the most Presidential assassinations. We at FishDuck.com/tellingitlikeitissince2012 would like to see another team be designated as America’s Team. One with as much recent tradition and success as Dallas, and beaches to boot. We nominate . . .
4. Gilbert Gottfried: That this guy is still cashing checks as an entertainer is amazing to me.
5. February: Football is over, its more than a month until March Madness, almost two months until baseball season and we are tired of being cold and wet. Thank goodness that February only has 28 days. The only thing better would be to move Leap Day into the summer during a month in which we would actually like to see an extra day. To join my campaign “People in Favor of July 32nd” please send a large PayPal donation to me care of FishDuck.com. Together we may eventually be able to stamp out February entirely.
Go Ducks. Win a basketball game.
Top photo by www.fanpop.com