Biggest sporting event in the world! Dwarfing the Super Bowl and the NCAA Tournament combined! More than one $Billion wagered worldwide! Watched in more than 800 million homes worldwide in 356 countries in three galaxies! Sport with the most openly phallic trophy in the history of the world!
Just stop! At the risk of having the comment box overloaded with negative flak.
There are a lot of things going on in the sports world that I do care about right now. Baseball, the NBA Finals, Lawn Darts, Competitive Banana Smoking, Armpit Hair Braiding. All of these can hold my attention more than “Futbol.”
In fact, I have compiled a partial list events that are going on around the Pac-12 that might catch your eye and hold your attention during the interminable tourney going on in Brazil.
1. Beaver Goosing: Up in Corvallis, they are participating in their annual mascot-bonding experience. Beaver fans sneak up behind the little critters and …
2. Body Type Appreciation Seminar: Up in Pullman, the Cougars are holding a seminar called “I’m OK, You’re Kind of OK, But You’re Still Pretty Fat.” Mike Leach keynotes.
3. The 50th Annual Mascot Validation Event: The USC provost and Board of Trustees explain to their fans, one more time, that they had nothing but the noblest intentions when they named their team after a prophylactic.
4. The Inagural “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” Event: Here in Eugene, we are going to our happy place. Though I don’t know why we need one. Here is our football schedule for last year.
1 Aug 31, 2013 (3) Oregon v Nicholls State W 66-3
2 Sep 7, 2013 (2) Oregon @ Virginia W 59-10
3 Sep 14, 2013 (2) Oregon v Tennessee W 59-14
4 Sep 28, 2013 (2) Oregon v California W 55-16
5 Oct 5, 2013 (2) Oregon @ Colorado W 57-16
6 Oct 12, 2013 (2) Oregon @ Washington W 45-24
7 Oct 19, 2013 (2) Oregon v WSU W 62-38
8 Oct 26, 2013 (2) Oregon v UCLA W 42-14
9 Nov 7, 2013 Bye
10 Nov 16, 2013 (6) Oregon v Utah W 44-21
11 Nov 23, 2013 Bye
12 Nov 29, 2013 (12) Oregon v Oregon State W 36-35
13 Dec 30, 2013 (10) Oregon @ Texas W 30-7
Perfect. Just like we expected. Go Ducks of All Sizes, Shapes, Creeds, Colors, and Nations of Origin.
Top image by Pixabay.com
Volunteer Position Openings:
- Basketball Writer: Do you know the game and love to think about the upcoming season for our beloved Ducks? Write about them! It's fun doing homework on a winner!
- Assistant Football Analyst: Love college football and enjoy watching it for hours? We need associates to view games and find the techniques/teaching points we identify for them in advance. You will be recognized in publications, and could have the opportunity to move to full Analyst.
- College Football Analyst: We are looking for Coaches, or retired coaches to help create analysis videos (we do the video part) that will be viewed by thousands, and will help young football players as well as fans understand the game much better. The national recognition will help your resume' as well as make an impact upon the game we all dearly love.
- Video Specialist: We are looking for help in the Eugene/Springfield area to assist with the shooting and editing of analysis videos.
- All Positions: Send a resume' with full contact information and any writing samples you have to email@example.com Again, these are volunteer positions donating five hours a week each.