I’m Broke! Should I Be a Beaver?

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I’m broke.

Will skewer the Beavers for food

pixabay.com

Will skewer the Beavers for food.

I won’t always be broke. It’s a temporary condition due to spending too much on my own birthday and the fact that my stock options with FishDuck (FKU:NYSE) and 401k don’t vest for another year. But being broke, for no matter how long, makes one wonder, “Did I go wrong in my life? Should I have made better choices? What if I had become … a Beaver?”

Sure there would have had to have been an adjustment in the way that I look at the world.

I would have had to be okay with a logo that stands for "Oh S%*t."

posterplanet.net

I would have had to be okay with a logo that stands for “Oh S%*t.”

And I would have needed to find something more interesting than college football to do on Saturdays in the fall.

Church potluck in Corvallis

en.wikipedia.org

Church Potluck in Corvallis

But I could have done I t… couldn’t I?

Probably the hardest thing, besides all of the other things, that I would have had to do was get used to making excuses. Now excuses aren’t purely the purview of Beavers.

Oklahoma makes them:

 

Florida State makes them:

"I thought the crab legs at Publix was part of my scholarship."

gamedayr.com

“I thought the crab legs at Publix were part of my scholarship.”

But to be a Beaver I was going to have to become a master of the excuse. I was going to have to be better at making excuses than this guy,

Hugh Grant

commons.wikipedia.net

Hugh Grant

who “dated” this gal,

Divine Brown-Curbside Entrepreneur

bigbeefco.com

Divine Brown-Curbside Entrepreneur

while being in a relationship with someone truly divine.

Elizabeth Hurley

commons.wikimedia.org

Elizabeth Hurley

And that would be hard.

Sigh. I don’t know what to do. Align myself with the state’s most prestigious University on and off the field of sporting endeavor? Or spend Saturday afternoons cheering on the Bad News Bears in a half empty stadium surrounded by a couple thousand fans who get dental and fashion advice from Gollum.

"TEEFS!"

en.wikipedia.org

“TEEFS!”

I’ve made up my mind. Broke is but a temporary state of being. Beaver lingers forever.

GO DUCKS!

Top photo by clipartcotttage.deviantart.com

 

 

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Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • Lynn Murphy

    Sorry but this article only servers to perpetuate the ‘Duck fans are arrogant’ perception. While I realize it is an attempt at humor it misses the mark. Please stay classy!

    • disqus_Zh8hDRwXyI

      You mean classy like the Duck fanatic that chartered the plane carrying the banner “go Ducks” that kept circling Reser while the graduation ceremony took place ? Audibly disrupting the ceremony and just another classless act by folks who are coming to represent the norm in Oregon fandom, aggressive rude and way out of bounds..