8 Reasons Why College Football Is the Greatest Sport of Them All


This is the week that we have all been waiting for. At the end of last season the Ducks summarily ushered Mack Brown out the door with a swift kick in the rear and the parting words “Next time bring a passing game.” Since that night, Oregon fans have been looking forward to the next season to finally get here. Well, it’s here. Another year of the greatest sport ever conceived since cavemen invented football – maybe.

No, not these Cavemen


No, not these Cavemen …

These cavemen


… these cavemen.

This wait, during the last summer months, has been a time of both renewal and refreshment. College football, Duck football if you will, is the best of the best, in terms of sports. Here are a few reasons why:

1.  It Moves Faster Than Any Sport Except for Hockey and the Players Get to Keep Their Teeth

Booby Clarke was a great player but he was never offered a toothpaste endorsement deal


Bobby Clarke was a great player, but he was never offered a toothpaste endorsement deal.

2.  When Football Players Lay on the Ground It’s a Good Bet that There Is Some Pain Involved:

Help! This man is threatening to do a push up on me!


Help! This man is threatening to do a push up on me!

3. College Football Players Have Time Honored and Appropriate Ways of Congratulating Each Other


Nice play!


Nice play!

While baseball players, well … don’t.



Niiiiccceeee …

4.  College Football Games Tend to Have More Scoring then Their Professional Counterparts

Umm, okay. That isn't exactly what I meant


Umm, okay. That isn’t exactly what I meant, but pro games really are lower scoring.

5.  Football Players, Not Being Prima Donna Crybabies, Don’t Mind If We Talk While They Play

"We must be vewwwwyyy quiet. We are hunting wabbits." Give me a break.


“We must be vewwwwyyy quiet. We are hunting wabbits.” Give me a break.

6.  Tennis Players Just Seem to Be Brats:

Someone needs a nap


Someone needs a nap.

7.  College Football Players Aren’t Stupidily Wealthy

The store near LeBron's house was out of Charmin


The 7-11 near LeBron’s house was out of Charmin.

8  But Probably the Best Reason Why College Football Is the Greatest Sport Has to Do With It’s Cyclical Nature

Eventually Johnny Manziel would have to take his tired and privileged act elsewhere


Eventually Johnny Manziel would have to take his tired and privileged act elsewhere.

The real games start next week, boys and girls! Oregon and one Dakota or the other in what could be a preview of … the second half of Oregon and some Dakota.

Go Ducks!


Top image by flickr.com

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Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • hoboduck

    What a hoot. Nice job and I agree on your base-BALL take.
    Go Ducks WTD