What I Am Willing to Do to Turn This Thing Around

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Remember when teams used to fear us?

It's Oregon week, y'all. Hide me.

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It’s Oregon week, y’all. Hide me.

Well those days are pretty much behind us. There are those who would suggest we would be better off remembering the olden days, when the Civil War was the be-all and end-all after a season of getting mauled by our betters.

Do I Have To?

everydayshouldbesaturday.com

Do I Have To?

NO! NEIN! NYET!いいえ!Walang! I’m not willing to go there just yet. So, after getting that clear in my head I had to decide what I, personally, would be willing to do to improve our situation. I don’t have any eligibility left so place kicking is out of the question.

In my prime

en.wikipedia.org

In my prime

But there had to be some things that I could do or be to bring back the glory days so recently passed. Finally I came up with some ideas I’m sure would help.

1.  I Could Let Jim Mora Jr. Touch Me With His Right Hand in Ways Not Entirely Appropriate.

Hello Jim, nice to WHOOPS!

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Hello Jim, nice to WHOOPSIE!

2. I Could Go to the Famous Inverted Fountain on the Campus of UCLA

Ah, so nice

en.wikimedia.org

Ah, so nice

3. And Decorate It

Ah, so nice

en.wikimedia.org

Ah, so nice

4. I Could Bring a Nice Present to Westwood

Love, FishDuck.com/desperatemuch

commons.wikimedia.org

Love, FishDuck.com/desperatemuch

5. I Could Offer Myself as a Living Sacrifice to the Deity of My Choice

Some sacrifices aren't all that sacrificial of course

pl.wikipedia.org

Some sacrifices aren’t all that sacrificial of course

But there is no guarantee that any of that would work. That’s why we at FishDuck.com/idontwanttocryattheendofthegameagainitwasembarrassing offer the following incentive to a team in need of passion and direction. The Duck that scores the winning touchdown against UCLA gets to throw a pie, baked by Charles Fischer himself, at the member of the UCLA family of his choice, past or present. We won’t even offer a subliminal suggestion.

What?

defiantlydutch.blogspot.com

What?

Go Ducks! The only good bruin is Yogi.

Top photo by sportslogos.net

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 Volunteer Position Openings:

--Media Management/Supervisor:  We are looking for someone beyond college age who can help manage students and mentor in a number of different departments. Expertise is not required as organizational skills and interest in guiding others.   --Assistant Football Analyst: Love college football and enjoy watching it for hours? We need associates to view games and find the techniques/teaching points we identify for them in advance.  You will be recognized in publications, and could have the opportunity to move to full Analyst.   --College Football Analyst: We are looking for Coaches, or retired coaches to help create analysis videos (we do the video part) that will be viewed by thousands, and will help young football players as well as fans understand the game much better. The national recognition will help your resume' as well as make an impact upon the game we all dearly love.   --Video Specialist: We are looking for help in the Eugene/Springfield area to assist with the shooting and editing of analysis videos.   All Positions: Send a resume' with full contact information and any writing samples you have to charles@fishduck.com  Again, these are volunteer positions donating five hours a week each.

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • disqus_Zh8hDRwXyI

    You got your ending all wrong Kim, Yogi was a picky nick basket stealing trouble maker, Boo Boo on the other hand was truly an honorable Ursa, always trying but failing to get his bigger badder bear bud to do the right thing. Speaking in heretical terms here but for just this once win the game and even if the rest of the day feels like an epic fail, I’d wager they’ll feel like they’d WTD’d !