Merry Christmas from a Place Where Fish Fly South for the Rose Bowl

I am supposed to be funny. Sometimes that comes to me in question form: “Aren’t you supposed to be funny?”

Trust me. It was to me.

beti123456.deviantart.com

Trust me. It was to me.

But on this, the day of the greatest birth mankind has ever known, I want to take a break from being the most humorous writer you have ever known.

The second funniest? In the Top Ten? Million?

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The second funniest? Right behind Dave Barry?

This is a day for gifts. There are all kinds of gifts.

My lovely and talented wife and I love to give and receive experiential gifts. That’s why we can be found at Lakewood 12 AMC Theaters today. We will be watching three movies and eating movie food until 1:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

Go ahead. Call me a health food nut. Others have.

www.eofamily.com

Go ahead. Call me a health food nut. Others have.

But, in many ways, 2014 has been a gift in and of itself. I have, for the most part, my health (credit my nutritional regimen listed above); I have the aforementioned Mrs.:

I out-kicked my coverage by a good 20 yards.

Kim Hastings

I out-kicked my coverage by a good 20 yards.

I also have children who care enough to join me for the last movie tonight, and grandchildren who are too polite (and/or too young) to say, “I don’t want to go see Grandpa. He has wrinkles and smells like death.”

My FishDuck.com avatar was taken 40 years ago. This is me now.

scorpionman100.deviantart.com

My FishDuck.com avatar was taken 40 years ago. This is me now.

And last but certainly not least, I have friends who share my passion for sports in general, and the Oregon Ducks in particular.

Have I mentioned my admiration for this particular Duck?

commons.wikimedia.org

Have I mentioned my admiration for this particular Duck?

I am truly blessed.

So, for one week and one week only, I have nothing snarky to say about Washington State or Oregon State. I won’t say a word about the Tallahassee, Florida, police department.

A picture maybe. But not a word.

commons.wikimedia.org

A picture maybe. But not a word.

And I won’t take even one shot at my friend, who has a man crush on Johnny Manziel.

The second funniest? In the Top Ten? Million?

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This^^^

Merry Christmas, everyone! Go Ducks!

Top photo by commons.wikimedia.org

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