8:00 a.m: Sesame Street Meets the Teletubbies. Educational. A bird on a Harley teaches Tinky Spanky the meanings of words and numbers. The word for today is “ass-kicking”. The number for today is “9”.
9:00 a.m: Fantasy Island. Fictional island where, if you can dream it, Mr. Sark can make it so. On this week’s episode a savagely beaten group of young men imagine that the wall to wall whipping that they just endured was actually not all that bad after all. Stars Hugh Millen, Dave “Squishy Like the Inside of a Twinkie” Mahler, and Dick Baird.
Squishy Wishes the Bad Stuff Away
10:00 a.m: The Price is Wrong. Game Show. Undersized, overhyped quarterbacks try to guess where the blitz is coming from. When they’re right… well we don’t know what happens when they’re right because it hasn’t happened… but when they’re wrong they are thrown to the turf, and left looking dazed.
Oh, too bad. The answer we were looking for was "everywhere".
11:00 a.m. ”Bull Sarkisian” Movie. Young coach learns the ropes of navigating the Pac-12 with the help of an older female mentor. Co-stars Barbara Hedges, a jacuzzi, and just enough bubbles to hide the naughty parts.
"Come here Steven...and bring your sharp fingernails. Woof."
1:00 p.m: The Amazing Race. Reality. Thousands of purple clad people leave Eugene, Oregon and try to make it across the border into Washington while having to evade a flock of rabid waterfowl.
3:00 p.m: ”Groundhog Day”- Movie (repeat). Starring Keith Gilbertson, Ty Willingham, Steve Sarkisian, Nick Holt, Justin Wilcox, The Tyee Club, and Dawgman.com
Polly Precious, President Tyee Club.
4:00 p.m: Flogging the Bishop. Educational. Community joins together to discipline misbehaving running back. Stars Dion Jordan, Kiko Alonso, and Ifo Ekpre-Olemu.
No! I Said Put Your Head on the Ground!
7:00 p.m: Here Comes Husky Boo-Boo. Reality. Hilarious depiction of Montlake family. See them fumble, throw pick sixes, and generally botch their way through the evening. Bonus footage of them enjoying post game meal of “sketti” with ketchup and butter sauce.
"A fumble makes me grumble, Husky Boo-Boo"
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Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”