While most people know FishDuck as being the preeminent source of innovative knowledge about all things sport having to do with the University of Oregon (as well as Philadelphia, wink wink say no more) what most do not realize is that FishDuck is also a leading research and analysis firm with respect to societal opinion.
We have partnered with the Law Offices of Probum, Fleasome, and Runn to do market research about the inner-most desires of fans around the country this Father’s Day. Some of what we discovered may surprise you.
While many guys acknowledged that all they really wanted was to be left alone to watch the final round of the U.S. Open.
Some sports fans had some very specific desires for this holiday that they were willing to share with our crack staff.
Rutgers University: It’s been quite a slog for the State University of New Jersey. First it was their men’s basketball coach hurling balls and abuse at his team, then it was the athletic director fired in the wake. Rutgers hired an athletic director, who it was learned, had called her players “whores, alcoholics and mentally disabled” when she was the volleyball coach at Tennessee. In light of all that they have gone through, Rutgers fans have but one desire this Father’s Day. That is to …
Cal Tech: The students at Cal Tech are remarkably intelligent. Truly, graduates from Cal Tech will be some of the leaders that shape the world in the century to come. Sadly, the California Institute of Technology Division III basketball team lost 310 consecutive games, spanning an astounding 26 years. During two of those years the Beavers (and that’s the last time I want to associate THAT with academic excellence) of Cal Tech started a center whose program height/weight was 6’3″/161. Tired of having to chant “You will beat us today, but you will work for us tomorrow” Cal Tech hoop fans have but one wish this Father’s Day:
University of Washington: Things are looking up for the Huskies and I, for one, am glad. They have a new fight song
At their current pace the Huskies will be back on top … sometime. When you get down to it, the aggrieved Husky fan probably doesn’t have enough years left in the old ticker to see his team get back to national prominence. That’s why when Husky Fan was asked what he most wanted to have for Father’s Day his response was somewhat predictable.
Happy Father’s Day, gentlemen.