Three days of good weather in a row has brought the smell of barbecue into my yard. And that’s a good thing. Eating is more than something that I do to fuel the body and stay alive. It’s an art form and a never-ending quest. In 1998 I made a discovery on a drive to San Diego. On the way back I exercised my discovery everywhere from San Diego to Santa Rosa.
Oh…man…
But today isn’t going to be about In-N-Out, Fatburger, Culvers, etc. I’m going to host a barbecue, and I’m going to invite some prominent folks from the college sports world to share this meal with me. Now a good barbecue isn’t solely up to the host. Part of the fun lies in asking guests to bring something to share with the rest of the group. I can hear some conversation already. Let’s go outside and see what everyone brought.
Steve Sarkisian: The head coach of the Washington Huskies (whose bark is more terrifying than their pass rush) recently told the Pac-12 media that he considers last year’s 7-6 season to actually be more like 9-3. This, on the heels of his head in the sand analysis of last year’s pummeling at the hands of the majestic Ducks of Oregon, left me scant surprised at what he chose to bring to my barbecue.
Thanks for the baloney, Sark! Now go sit down. You’re getting hair in the cole slaw.
Mark Emmert: The Capo De Tutti Capo of the NCAA has had a rough go of it lately. His conferences are in full revolt. His employees are calling him ”didactic”, “dictatorial”, and “dismissive.” He is, in response “depressed” and “dyspeptic”. His contribution to my barbecue?
Thanks Mark. Oh I see you’re drinking it already.
Brett Bielema: The new head man in Fayetteville, Ark. has joined with Alabama’s Nick Saban in calling for the regulation of the speed at which college football games can be played. Citing the size of the Razorbacks’ offensive lineman (who came to my barbecue last year and ate everything including the napkins.) *must avoid temptation to the easy target* Bielema voiced concern about the safety of the game. Thank goodness he came to my barbecue. I had forgotten the…
Whine
Fans of the Oregon State Beavers: I’m nothing if not a good neighbor. I throw the kids’ Wiffle Ball back over the fence when it comes into my yard. I watch the neighbor’s cat when she goes out of town. I mow the neighbor’s lawn when he’s sick. Why wouldn’t I invite the OSU fans to my house for a little ‘cue. We have a lot to talk about. Five in a row, four losses annually, and the result of the just concluded NCAA investigation. They seem to be ready for that topic. Look what they brought to my party.
Their very own entree’. How thoughtful.
Bon appetit’, Ducks. It’s gonna be a great year!
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Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”