Good morning, Ducks! Much as I would like to spend another week dissecting and dismantling the buffoons who doubted the Mighty Ducks over the course of the last two years, it’s time to move forward.
The hot weather is here, which means that it’s time for the movie blockbusters to hit the big screen. So, from your friends at Fishduck Entertainment Associates LLC, QID, IBID, Inc. here are the movies that you should be looking for in the next couple of months. Trust me, it will feel great to put our sanction victory behind us once and for all … pretty much.
Beaver House Down
While on a tour of Reser Stadium a failed security guard applicant must save Mike Riley, Benny Beaver, and the chain saw sound operator from angry Beaver fans led to believe that our Ducks were going to be slowed down bureaucratically by the NCAA investigation. Rated R for Beaver on Beaver violence and one brief scene of sexual intimacy between an amorous Beaver on PED’s and an unsuspecting tourist.
Trust me, you don’t want to see what happens next.
Rabid and Furious 6: In this continuing saga of fast cars and glib tongues Dawgman.com brass attempt to explain their role in the misinformation campaign of the last two years. Originally titled “The End of the Month is What I’m Hearing” the movie stars Kim Grinolds and Chris Fetters in their first starring roles. Doubtless it won’t be their last.
Kim
Chris
The Hangover 3: Third installment of what it must be like to be a fan of USC after they spent a long time believing that we would be busted like they were. Sorry, gang. Just think of the institution of higher education in Eugene as “Truth, Justice, and the American Way.” If you forget, here’s a reminder.
Nick Aliotti and Mark Helfrich
The Duck of Steel: A stranger in a strange land, everyone is afraid what this Duck represents, but as it turns out (Spoiler Alert!), Marcus Mariota represents First Downs, Touchdowns and the Oregon Duck way.
Producers had a number of villains to choose from, but they went with Harry Husky to open up this rebooted franchise. With the first Duck of Steel going so well, a sequel is just around the corner with his arch-enemy Benny Beaver expected to take a lead role. Depending on how well the second installment does, there might be a third season for No. 8.
Or will there?
Didn’t it feel kind of good to move past the sanction thing and on to something else?
By the way, birthday wishes are in order this week to the two members of the fishduck.com team who have been a part of the operation for the longest to date. Since they are both shy I won’t name names here. Suffice it to say that they are now the same age as Warren Harding, Humphrey Bogart, and Wolfman Jack were…when they died. Happy birthday, guys!
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Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”