Ducks and Buffs: More Similar Than You Might Think

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive Leave a Comment

The Ducks host the Colorado Buffaloes this weekend, as the regular season begins to wind to a conclusion. While Oregon is a significant favorite,‘s crack research department has made some interesting discoveries. The Buffaloes and the Ducks are pretty similar.

Eerie, isn't it?

Eerie, isn’t it?

The Ducks have a powerful defensive front. Swarming to the quarterback, engulfing rushers, swatting passes down at the line of scrimmage. A group such as this wreaks havoc with the minds, and bodies, of opposing players. The Ducks’ defensive front make up the …

A defensive front to scare the strongest fan.

A defensive front to scare the strongest fan.

The Buffaloes have a defensive front as well:

Blue intimidation!

Blue intimidation!

The Ducks have a tandem of fast and punishing running backs. Royce Freeman mashes the pile and takes the will out of the defense. Thomas Tyner speeds around the edges and finishes runs with a fury borne of his desire to be the best. Together they form:

Colorado has a couple of running backs as well. Tony Jones and Michael Adkins II make up another duo named after weather.

Nothing intimidates an Oregonian like drizzle. Oooh. scary.

Nothing intimidates an Oregonian like drizzle. Oooh, scary.

Oregon’s defensive backs are ball-hawking guys who like to hit and be hit. Erick Dargan says, “Let’s strap it on and see what happens.” Troy Hill says, “This is a no-fly zone. (and you know a “buff” is a bandana from Survivor, right?)” Ifo Ekpre-Olomu says, “Get that weak stuff out of here. You make me want to vomit.” They are everywhere. Together they say:



Colorado has defensive backs as well. John Walker says, “Please don’t throw it to my side of the field.” Tedric Thompson says, “My ankle is pretty sore, Coach.” Kenneth Crawley says, “Devon Allen makes me have to pee my pants.” Together they make up another kind of legion.

"You do know we lost to Colorado State, right? Now we play Oregon? Really?

“You do know we lost to Colorado State, right? Now we play Oregon? Really?”

Oregon has Marcus Mariota. Unless Jameis Winston suddenly inhabits his body and takes all semblance of morality away from him (or his leg gets rolled up), Marcus Mariota is going to win the Heisman Trophy.

The best college football player in the land and a better human being.

The best college football player in the land and a better human being.

Colorado has a quarterback they like as well. Again, very similar.

Marcus Welby

Marcus Welby

So now you can see why the folks here at’renextBeavers are pretty concerned about this game.

Go Ducks! Turn the Buffaloes into:

Is it lunch time yet?

Is it lunchtime yet?

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