Top Ten Reasons Duck Fans Are Excited About Vernon Adams

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

David Letterman‘s retirement leaves a gaping void in the landscape of late night television. To honor the retirement of one of television’s true greats, FishDuck.com presents the Top Ten reasons we are excited about incoming University of Oregon quarterback Vernon Adams.

Kieran! Dim the Lights! Oh, that's American Idol. How embarrassing. Move on! I said "MOVE ON!"

Kieran! Dim the Lights! Oh, that’s American Idol. How embarrassing. Move on! I said, “MOVE ON!”

Number Ten, Fan Base Excitement: Young Mr. Adams made a name for himself while playing for Eastern Washington. His decision to attend Oregon for his last campaign has Duck fans doing a serious pee dance while waiting for the summer to end.

And you thought you couldn't dance.

And you thought you couldn’t dance.

Number Nine, The Measurables Through the Air: Vernon Adams has the kind of arm to make offensive coordinator Scott Frost drool. They still talk about the time, on third-and-long against Montana State, Adams threw a pass 176 miles in the air, complete to a receiver in Wenatchee.

Actual footage of Adams' pass flying over Ritzville, Washington.

Actual footage of Adams’ pass flying over Ritzville, Washington.

Number Eight, The Measurables on the Ground: Vernon Adams has blazing speed. He runs a sub 2.5 40 and once outran a gazelle in a match race.

Holy crap! Did you see that?

Holy crap! Did you see that?

Number Seven, Adams the Student: A scholar of the highest order, Adams looks to continue an education which can only be called remarkable. It is said Vernon Adams is the inspiration for a television personality.

Jerry Allen, circa September 2015. "Touchdown Oregon! Bazinga!"

Jerry Allen, circa September 2015. “Touchdown Oregon! Bazinga!”

Number Six, Adams the Campus Personality: One word.

Gandhi

Gandhi

Number Five, Adams the Community Presence: Has anyone ever been elected mayor while still a student?

Eugene City Hall will only be the beginning. Can you say President Adams? John Quincy approves of this suggestion.

Eugene City Hall will only be the beginning. Can you say President Adams? John Quincy approves of this suggestion.

Number Four, Adams the International Man of Intrigue: Recent archives indicate Adams was the inspiration for Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain,” 22 years before he was born.

Imagine Carly Simon's surprise when this fact was unearthed

Imagine Carly Simon’s surprise when this fact was unearthed.

Number Three, Adams the Visionary: Vernon Adams knew early on he wanted to make the world a better place than when he found it.

The sign Vernon Adams made  for Berlin's Hard Rock Cafe'. He was eight at the time.

The sign Vernon Adams made for Berlin’s Hard Rock Cafe’. He was eight at the time.

Number Two, Adams the Philanthropist: In researching this completely factual report FishDuck.com’s crack investigative unit, Chuck’s Goons, uncovered an amazing fact. Should Vernon Adams sign an NFL contract, he intends to give his entire signing bonus to City of Hope.

Vernon Adams! Body of a man, but heart of a lion.

Vernon Adams! The body of a man, but the heart of a lion.

But the Number One Reason Oregon Fans Are Excited About the Arrival of Vernon Adams

Adams comes to Eugene with a load of promise and an upside higher than Cliff Harris on a Saturday night. Oregon coaches set their sights on Adams when he turned Eastern’s normal football field red with the bleeding tears of Washington’s sterling defensive unit.

Tragic, really.

Tragic, really.

Welcome to Eugene, Vernon Adams. Go Ducks!

Top photo by therealsportscave.com

 

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