In news that is breaking harder and faster as we speak, Washington Huskies’ recruiting superstar Tosh Lupoi is being investigated by the NCAA for giving impermissible benefits. As Duck fans, we know what it’s like to be investigated only to be exonerated when all of the facts came out. And, since the Husky fans were oh so very patient and gracious with us during our do-si-do with the NCAA, I’m going to give them some room. I will only report on what’s being said thus far.
The L.A. Times reports a paper trail that includes payouts of almost $5,000.00 to the representatives of linebacker recruit Andrew Basham from Lynnwood (WA) High School. Details still to come but Lupoi and Sarkisian (nicknames Tosh 2.0 and Sark 0.2) apparently used a plain brown paper bag for delivery. Now we know how one becomes a “recruiting guru.” And here we thought it was all about X Box Live.
The National Enquirer is reporting that Sarkisian and Lupoi (nicknamed Miley and Gaga) not only gave up major coin to Basham but were also spotted engaged in a tawdry and compromising position with aliens in the bathhouses at Alki Beach.
Highlights reports that Sarkisian and Lupoi (nicknamed Goofus and Gallant) were in a hidden picture together being naughty and sent to their rooms without dinner.
E-Weekly put Sarkisian and Lupoi (nicknamed The Kardashians of Montlake) on their cover along with John Canzano and Kim Grinolds.
The Wall Street Journal reports a severe drop in the stock price of Sarkisian/Lupoi Industries (nicknamed Enron and Edsel) and recommended a sell-off at whatever pennies on the dollar you can find.
The Oregonian, always known for being on top of breaking sports news said, “Watch out for the Beavers in 2014.” Fat City, right on top of things. That’s our Oregonian.
Here at fishduck.com, we keep a very serious and sober eye on developments. We take no joy in the misdeeds of fellow institutions of higher education and hope that it all turns out to be a big misunderstanding. #giggling uncontrollably