SEC (Southeastern Chickens) Renounce Roosting in Autzen

Jon Joseph Editorials 4 Comments

May rabies ravage the Dawgs and anthrax annihilate the Aggies! It’s not as if Oregon‘s Athletic Directors haven’t made a valiant effort. The Ducks once had home engagements scheduled with the Georgia Bull Dogs and the Texas A&M Aggies, only to be left at the altar by that castrated, chicken whip, canine University of Georgia, as well as being dumped …

Fare Thee Well

Kim Hastings Best of FishDuck.com Humor 5 Comments

Well, it looks like FishDuck.com is going away, at least in its current high content, fast moving iteration. That being the case I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you and farewell to all who have made this journey so enjoyable. To the schools at whose expense I have plowed the most fertile ground. Then to the FishDuck folks themselves. …

Are We Entitled? Is That a Bad Thing?

Kim Hastings Humor 5 Comments

“Entitled.” Some people use it a weapon when discussing fan behavior. Sort of a “drop-the-mic and declare victory” moment. Critical of the defense? “Oh, you’re entitled.” Critical of the coaching? “You should lose your entitlement attitude.” Disappointed over a season seemingly topping out with a minor pre-New Year’s Day Bowl? “You must be” — *fill in the blank* — “entitled, …

FishDuck.com’s Fearless Oregon-Cal Prediction

Kim Hastings Humor 2 Comments

Good morning, Duck fans! We thought we would take this opportunity to let you behind the curtain of FishDuck.com. Many of you have asked, “How does FishDuck.com do it? You guys are always so right on! It’s uncanny.” We arrive at our conclusions through research behind the numbers. All designed to provide you with the tools you need to be …

Sun Devils’ Persistent Averageness a Puzzle to Experts

Kim Hastings Humor 1 Comment

The Arizona State Sun Devils host the Ducks tomorrow with little on the line for ASU. They have already secured a record which may remain unbroken forever. The Sun Devils have lost at least three games every year since at least 1998. The record probably goes back further than ’98. FishDuck.com/psychologistsinoursparetime asked me to examine the persistent mediocrity extant in Tempe. …

Ducks Expect to Dominate Bye in This Week’s Action

Kim Hastings Humor 1 Comment

Welcome to the most relieved website on Earth. Just when it appeared the Ducks’ domination of the Huskies might come to an end, Washington turned to its hurry-up offense and scored in just under a Millenia. This week, Oregon takes a much-deserved breather from Pac-12 play. FishDuck.com decided to take a look around the conference to see what we should watch elsewhere in the …

Dear Ducks: If Ever, Let It Be This Week

Kim Hastings Humor 1 Comment

“We compete against ourselves.” “We play them one game at a time.” “Our opponents are faceless.” These are all axioms you have heard from football coaches from Pee Wee ball to the NFL. They are ways of saying no one opponent is any more important than any other opponent. You may have heard people say that about the Ducks and …

Ducks Play Colorado for Redemption, Porky’s, and the Head of a Chicken

Kim Hastings Humor 2 Comments

Good morning, Duck fans. It is good to see you. I trust you have all had a pleasant and prosperous week. I’m a grown man, with a wife, kids, friends and much to anticipate. On a related note, a record number of people are getting hurt in their homes by falling televisions. But onward we forge. Boats beating against the tide, …

What You Should Know About Georgia State

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive 0 Comments

Good morning, Ducks. This Saturday our boys take a break from Fingergate to play an actual football game against Georgia State. The early point spread lists us as a 40+ point favorite. I think it’s too much. We are facing an experienced and, frankly, violent team. As is our custom, FishDuck.com researched the daylights out of Georgia State to offer you some …