Well, it looks like FishDuck.com is going away, at least in its current high content, fast moving iteration. That being the case I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you and farewell to all who have made this journey so enjoyable. To the schools at whose expense I have plowed the most fertile ground. Then to the FishDuck folks themselves.
But first to the loyal readers of the site in general and my stuff in particular.
To those who have enjoyed the fruits of my labor for the last 4+ years, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your support, praise and constructive criticism have been my lifeblood. I couldn’t have, and wouldn’t have, done it without you.
To those of you who haven’t enjoyed what I have had to say, particularly those of you who chose to tell me so:
To the Schools in Utah: To Big Love in Ogden, Little Big Love in Salt Lake City and Littlest Big Love in Logan, thanks for joining the conference. Please try to do something about the smell of the big salty cesspool.
To the Colorado Buffaloes: I have truly enjoyed visiting Boulder, Estes Park and Pike’s Peak. I appreciate all the weed floating around. I know it helps you forget the product on the field.
To the Pac-12 Schools in California: In all seriousness I genuinely appreciate the academic excellence and the coeds at Stanford, Cal, and UCLA. I’m sure I would appreciate the academics and coeds at USC if I wasn’t terrified to go near campus.
To Washington State: For those who choose to matriculate at WSU in Pullman:
To Washington: U-Dub. The proud University of Washington. The Huskies! You know, I used to sit at my great-grandfather’s knee and hear him tell stories of how good you used to be.
Of course, I have no personal knowledge of such a thing ever being the case. But I do enjoy the flags in Seattle which talk about our winning streak over you. Pretty sportsmanlike, is all I can say. Well done.
Finally, to Oregon State: I genuinely hope there haven’t been any hard feelings about the way you have been portrayed on this, and every other reputable, website. But it has been for your own good.
Friends, you suck in ways heretofore thought impossible. Select any random 11 people off the street in Eugene and put up a more representative effort on the football field than what you have over the last 100 years.
My friends, if you go to Oregon State University you have to live in Corvallis. But you don’t have to become that incorporated Honey Bucket. Have some self-respect! Grow up! You’re better than this! Look just 40 miles south to see what you can become if you will but try.
To the Staff and Management of FishDuck: Thank you so much for all you have done to make me look, well, articulate, if not good. I have had a lot of editors, but I want to mention just a few. Dano, you are known as The Stud of Siuslaw, and I know why.
Junnelle, you left to become a Rhodes Scholar, an Oxfordite, or a fugitive from the law. Whichever, I’m sure you are enjoying England.
Natalie, you have been my editor lately. You live in Kalispell. Darlin’ you might as well be in Pullman. Make better choices.
To Charles, the founder and savant of FishDuck.com. Thanks for everything, my friend. You have made the site one of the shooting stars on the Internet. Your fame will live beyond eternity.
(Interoffice note: Is that okay, or do you want me to talk about how handsome and debonair you are, too?)
Thanks again, everyone.
Top photo by www.hopespeak.com