Excerpts from the FishDuck.com Mailbag

Kim Hastings Humor 0 Comments

10:30 a.m. is an important time at FishDuck.com headquarters in Compton. That’s when the mail arrives.

While electronic media is responsible for some of the feedback we get from readers, some folks prefer the old ways. They put pen to paper and write to us. Once a year I like to share some of the mail I get from readers and answer them on the site. 

Diane from Peoria, Ariz. writes: “I have followed along since you started writing for FishDuck.com. I laugh every week. What professional aspirations do you have?’

Thank you, Diane. I appreciate the kind words. I am but a humble man with humble hopes and dreams.

Maybe the Nobel Prize for Literature. But no monetary gifts, please. It would be unbecoming

topcrop.org

Maybe the Nobel Prize in Literature. But no monetary gifts, please. It would be unbecoming.

Susan from Phoenix writes: “You’re a little bit nuts. From where do you draw your ideas?”

Another nice letter. I’m on a roll. Thanks, Susan. I draw my strength and inspiration from my faith in Almighty God, the love of a good woman and…

...quaaludes.

treatment4addiction.com

…quaaludes.

John in Lacey, Wash. writes: “How many games do you think the Ducks would have won so far if Vernon Adams had been healthy all year?”

Well John, I have given this a lot of thought. Examining the team with and without V.A. I feel confident in saying if he had been healthy we would have won…

43 games so far this year.

commons.wikimedia.org

…43 games so far this year.

Ted in Fairfield, Calif. writes: “Stanford has been a difficult test for Oregon over the last five years. What message do you have for Stanford fans after last week’s win?”

As is so often the case, Ted, two pictures say it better than words.

Sssshhhh...

clipartpanda.com

Sssshhhh…

And:

Duck feet, do your thing!

en.wikimedia.org

Duck feet, do your thing!

Tracy from Choctaw, Okla. writes: “A month ago the season looked to be a big bag of nada. How were you thinking about the USC game then?”

Believe it or not, this is an understatement.

flickr.com

Believe it or not, this is an understatement.

Heather from Eureka, Calif. writes: “Now, with the ship apparently righted, how are you feeling about the game with ‘SC?”

I'm actually drinking from a cup of optimistic water right now. It will be a tough game, but I'm feeling okay.

I’m actually drinking from a cup of optimistic water right now. It will be a tough game, but I’m feeling OK.

Finally, Natalie from Bozeman, Mont. writes: “In a few weeks I’m going to Corvallis for the very first time. Do you have any advice?”

I’m glad you asked me this very important question, Natalie. It is always better to be forewarned. You will find a number of normal, well-adjusted people in Corvallis. Goodness knows why, but there are doctors, lawyers, teachers, and health care professionals who choose to live there.

The ones you need to avoid are the Beaver football fans. Lunatics and monsters, every last one of them! I hope you have a LoJack for your car.

Because they will do unspeakable things to your sheepskin steering wheel cover.

calcarcover.com

Because they will do unspeakable things to your sheepskin steering wheel cover.

Go Ducks! Trample the Trojans!

Top Photo by clker.com

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THREE FishDuck Promises to Readers…

We will be the cleanest Oregon site with no ads or videos starting up to annoy you.

We will be the easiest Oregon site for mobile (Cell phone and Pad) users, as we want it fast for you.

We will be the safest Oregon site for everyone, as we monitor comments and assure that everyone is polite to all. (And we do want all your opinions!)

Simple, clean, safe and fast!