The 12 Days of Beavis

Kim Hastings Humor

I am a great believer in Thanksgiving. And why wouldn’t I be? It is the only holiday dedicated to life’s three primary joys, food, family, and football. Ah, the memories. Who can forget the year that your sister brandished a turkey leg at you until you changed the television from Bears/Lions to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Your sister: Not …

Oregon Ducks Recruiting Update: Top Prep Mascot Coming to Eugene

Darren Perkins Best of FishDuck.com Humor, Humor

Coach Willie Taggart once again waves his Florida magic wand to secure a major recruit. Kenny Johns, a 5-star mascot performer out of Gainesville, FL, has committed to the Oregon Ducks. Johns confirmed his commitment to 247Sports later that day: “Duck yeah! I’m a Duck!” The 5’10” Johns (ninth-ranked mascot per 247Sports Composite) is an excellent foot stomper and can reel off …

10 Reasons Why Oregon Spring Football is Better Than Sex

Abbie -The FishDuck.com Mascot Humor

Spring is in the air, and you know what that means. It means it’s time for us to take our main squeeze by the hand, stroll on down to the park, lay out a blanket, and engage in our favorite pastime. Alright, alright, get your head out of the gutter, we’re talking about Oregon Ducks Spring Football! And here are …

The Bizarro Reality of Life Without Matthew Knight Arena

Darren Perkins Humor

Make no mistake about it.  Without Matthew Knight Arena, the Ducks wouldn’t have Dana Altman, they wouldn’t have the talent, and they wouldn’t be in the final four. Or would they? Because in a disturbing alternate reality where MKA is still a piece of land with an old bakery on it, the Ducks would still be celebrating 2017 in the …

Tourney Brackets for (and by) Dummies

Kim Hastings Humor

One weekend and a half in and your NCAA tourney bracket is shattered beyond belief. Why? Where did you go wrong? You calculated the assist/turnover ratio in neutral-site games played in December, but before Christmas. You searched the power rankings put out by ESPN, NPR, and The Food Network. This was supposed to be your year. Alas, you made just …

What the Oregon Ducks are Giving up for Lent

Kim Hastings Best of FishDuck.com Humor, Humor

My friends … Kim Hastings was the humor writer at FishDuck.com for over four years, as every Saturday morning it was fun to check the site and have some laughs over a good cup of java. I really miss his humor, and as favor to me–he came back to offer some fun to brighten your day too. Charles Fischer My …

Corvallis, Oregon, Reaches for It’s True Potential

Kim Hastings Humor

Hello friends. It’s good to talk with you again. As most of you know, I retired from FishDuck.com some time ago. I am enjoying the warm weather in my retirement community. The neighbors speak with an accent, making communication difficult. But that will come with time. Not long ago I was reading a magazine someone had smuggled, via their rectum, into …

Cranky Curmudgeon: Happy Meat Market Day!

Jon Joseph Humor

Signing day is coming The SEC is getting fat Please put a top 300 dude In Coach Helf’s recruiting hat!   If you don’t have a 300 Then a few 400’s will do If you don’t have any 400’s Puddles turns from green to blue! The annual mating ritual between high school football players and college football (‘CFB’) head coaches culminates on Wednesday, February 3, …