FLYOVER COUNTRY—The Hammering Is About To Commence

Canard Humor

I have no direct experience when it comes to facing sports juggernauts, but my eldest now does since this past spring one of our district’s five Little League teams went through the season undefeated. My son’s team only lost six games and finished second, but five of those losses were to the undefeated team. Two of those defeats were by …

FLYOVER COUNTRY—Remembering the Evil Empire

Canard Humor

With USC fans gloating uncontrollably over the star magnitude of their 2012 recruiting class, I found myself dragged to the past for a moment. I could almost hear the Soviet leader during the Cuban Missile Crisis, Nikita Kruschev, screaming into a UN microphone, “WE WILL BURY YOU!” For a few moments this week, the Trojans fans brought to mind that …

FLYOVER COUNTRY—The Song Remains Same

Canard Humor

Take your mind all the way back to last May. The buzz around the conference then was the details of the television deal that Larry Scott negotiated with Fox and ESPN. Without rehashing all of the particulars, the biggest news was that each member would pocket, on average, around $21 million annually over the twelve- year contract. Any way you …

FLYOVER COUNTRY: The Sports Bra Curse

Canard Humor

Anyone who has read my various musings over the years knows that I am not into conducting amateur psycho-analysis on opposing fan bases. That said, every so often, the “real world” intrudes and basically confirms what I already suspect about the opposition. Such an intrusion was recently captured in a photo at Goss Stadium in Corvallis during Civil War baseball …

FLYOVER COUNTRY—47 Letters

Canard Humor

History is replete with famous correspondence between luminaries, some of it philosophical, some religious, and some, shall we say, steamy. In an age when the postal service is fading away due to email, instant messaging, and video chat, and which sees that letter writing is becoming a lost art, something remarkable has taken place recently: A fully grown man in …

FLYOVER COUNTRY—ON SMOKE AND MIRRORS

Canard Humor

As a society, we Americans have never been serious about ending the “scourge” of intoxicant abuse. We have undertaken some flamboyant half-measures, such as Prohibition and The War On Drugs, but we aren’t really serious about such things despite the real world violence and imprisonment that arise out of the good versus evil pantomimes we produce. Places like Singapore and …

Have You Seen My Snake?

Kim Hastings Humor

And a good day to you, lads and lassies, on the feast day of St. Patrick!  Kermit the Frog became a wealthy sock when he declared, in scratchy melody, “It Ain’t Easy Being Green.”  Silly frog.  Not only is it easy being green, it’s downright refreshing!  First a little history: St. Patrick was born in 367 in the town of …

Flyover Country: Meanwhile, Over in Mayberry. . . .

Canard Humor

The University of Oregon is one of the few programs in the nation that allegedly has two “rivals.” Opinions amongst Ducks fans differ, but I am in the camp that says Washington, whom we affectionately call the “doogs,” are the rival of our athletics programs. Other Ducks fans ascribe to the frankly insane theory that Oregon State (University) is our …

I Thought They Said “Lint”…

Kim Hastings Humor

…And that would have been okay.  Everyone gets a little lint on themselves now and again. Dryer sheets are good for that.  ” Here just use a lint brush  and we’ll be good to go.  Maybe a touch or two with a piece of scotch tape  and…” “What????” “Ohhhh…you want to talk about LENT!” This is a different story entirely. …

Flyover Country: An Interview With The Vampire Who Is Killing the doogs Softly

Canard Humor

This past Valentine’s Day there were plenty of opportunities to write cheesy love notes to our rivals in the Pac-12, but only corporate bloggers took that easy and creatively bankrupt idea and ran with it. Like a predator, or a paparazzi outside of wherever it is that Whitney Houston shuffled off this mortal coil, I waited. Alas, my patience was …

Flyover Country: Star Searching in the PAC-12 North

Canard Humor

It’s that time of year again. The coaches of the PAC-12 North, the only division in the conference that matters until further notice, have scoured the nation looking to woo the highest rated prospects they can possibly sign. The fan bases of each program generally break into two factions every February–positive and negative. It’s either “We’ll be fine no matter …