The perks of working for FishDuck.com are ridiculous. I’m writing this from my timeshare week in Aspen, and its less than a month after this Super Bowl party:
But there comes a time, every year, when we have to pay the piper for all of these perks. When tax season rolls around free-lance writers take it up the . . .
And it takes some pretty creative accounting to get past the tax man without having to lay off one of my housekeepers.
That’s why I decided to network with writers loosely connected to other university sports programs to see if they had any ideas for how to protect these assets:
Pam Sweet-Wilson, Writer for Buffalo Chips in Boulder: “Have you seen a Colorado Buffalo football game since Rick Neuheisel took his guitar West? Good grief! I deduct the cost of ESPN Gameplan as war crime reparations for the torture that I endure.”
Kellen Sillanpaa, Writer for the Berkeley Frown: ”Joe Kapp, Tom Holmoe, Jeff Tedford. What more do you need to know? I buy season tickets for Cal football, and throw them off the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s all I can do not to follow them into the water. As a Golden Bear fan I self-medicate, and deduct the cost on Schedule A of my 1040.”
Janice Hilstad, Writer for Dawggie Style and Couture in Seattle: ”Husky fans are perhaps the happiest people on the planet. That’s because we have completely lost touch with reality. Already in 2014 we have won our 7th consecutive off-season championship, hired a coach who passionately recruits Napoleon Dynamite’s home town and watched a once-proud basketball program go toe-to-toe with Guy Fieri’s Culinary School and Barber College. As far as taxes are concerned, I just don’t file. Insanity knows no tax code.”
Justin Beaver, Writer for the Corvallis Sheep Dip: ”Did you know that a man who was diagnosed with gender-identity disorder (he felt he was a woman trapped in a male body) wanted to deduct almost $22,000 in out-of-pocket medical expenses for hormone therapy and sexual-reassignment surgeries. The tax court decided his hormone therapy and the sex-change operation costs, in the amount of $14,500, was a qualified medical tax deduction. Oregon State fans are taking this landmark decision to its logical conclusion. It’s all been a big mistake. We’re all really Duck fans trapped in a Beaver nightmare.”
And I’m sure that Oregon fans everywhere will welcome them. Poor dears. Bless their hearts.
Top photo by manataka.org
- The best Damn Opponent analysis on the web is coming out on Thursdays. Rory Davidson is a rising star at FishDuck.com as an analyst and you will always learn something new from him every week. Kim Hastings is our legendary humor writer who will be lampooning our opponent each week on Thursdays as well. So we will honor our opponent with Rory's respectful analysis...and then Kim will punch with glee and the opposing fans will have laugh at themselves. (or get indignant) What fun! Learning football and hooting at the opposition on Thursdays!
- Want to help mentor and teach students at FishDuck.com? Be an ADVISOR to a department! We want people who are a little older to counsel associates and keep them on track. Knowledge of a dept. is not necessary and if you were in Eugene? All the better although other locations can work. If you can spare 3-5 hours a week, and enjoy working with students and like keeping things organized…then contact me firstname.lastname@example.org
- Get experience in Media Management? Be a Managing Editor at FishDuck.com! If you can spare an hour a day to help the site stay on track, then you will be making decisions and learning skills that can help in Website or Newsroom management. A six month commitment required due to the training period, but it can help your resume as one who helping to manage over 40 writers and editors! Contact me email@example.com