In news that is breaking harder and faster as we speak, Washington Huskies’ recruiting superstar Tosh Lupoi is being investigated by the NCAA for giving impermissible benefits. As Duck fans, we know what it’s like to be investigated only to be exonerated when all of the facts came out. And, since the Husky fans were oh so very patient and gracious with us during our do-si-do with the NCAA, I’m going to give them some room. I will only report on what’s being said thus far.
Respected General Interest News Outlet
The L.A. Times reports a paper trail that includes payouts of almost $5,000.00 to the representatives of linebacker recruit Andrew Basham from Lynnwood (WA) High School. Details still to come but Lupoi and Sarkisian (nicknames Tosh 2.0 and Sark 0.2) apparently used a plain brown paper bag for delivery. Now we know how one becomes a “recruiting guru.” And here we thought it was all about X Box Live.
Another Well-Respected News Source
The National Enquirer is reporting that Sarkisian and Lupoi (nicknamed Miley and Gaga) not only gave up major coin to Basham but were also spotted engaged in a tawdry and compromising position with aliens in the bathhouses at Alki Beach.
Well-respected news with a younger twist.
Highlights reports that Sarkisian and Lupoi (nicknamed Goofus and Gallant) were in a hidden picture together being naughty and sent to their rooms without dinner.
More Truth in Magazine Form
E-Weekly put Sarkisian and Lupoi (nicknamed The Kardashians of Montlake) on their cover along with John Canzano and Kim Grinolds.
The Facts in the Business World
The Wall Street Journal reports a severe drop in the stock price of Sarkisian/Lupoi Industries (nicknamed Enron and Edsel) and recommended a sell-off at whatever pennies on the dollar you can find.
Signature Newspaper for Portland
The Oregonian, always known for being on top of breaking sports news said, “Watch out for the Beavers in 2014.” Fat City, right on top of things. That’s our Oregonian.
Here at fishduck.com, we keep a very serious and sober eye on developments. We take no joy in the misdeeds of fellow institutions of higher education and hope that it all turns out to be a big misunderstanding. #giggling uncontrollably
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Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”
