The Unauthorized — yet Uncensored — History of FishDuck

People stop me on the street all the time with two questions:  Do you know that you have toilet paper on your shoe?”  And, “What is it like working for”

Well, after more requests than I can count, I decided that it’s time to pull back the green curtain and let folks see the workings of our conglomerate that we call “All Things Fish.”

In the Beginning:  At first there were very few of us.  We were pioneers with humble aspirations.  All we wanted to do was reinvent sports journalism and commentary in a way that would garner intergalactic worship and a yachtload of cash.

If not a yacht, perhaps a dinghy.

If not a yacht, perhaps a dinghy.

We were all Ducks fans, of course, but Oregon sports was just a conduit to our real goals, namely groundbreaking sports writing, fame and chicks.

Picture taken at first Fishduck Christmas office party

Picture taken at first FishDuck office party.

Was it easy?  Of course not.  Times were different back than and our tools were primitive.

The first Fishduck newsroom

The Original FishDuck Newsroom

But we soldiered on, spurred by the inspiring words of our founding father, Charles “FishDuck” Fischer.

The beatings will continue until morale improves

“Did I mention that your deadline is 3:00 p.m., nave?”

We Hit Our Stride:  Soon, though, we could see that the fruit of our labor was bountiful.  The video tutorials were cited in publications such as The New York Times, Philadelphia Inquirer, Nights in Bangkok and Yemen Times-Standard.  And my stuff personally was cited in other quality and substantive publications.

Quality AND substance

quality AND substance

We could see that all of our dreams would soon come true.

Today:  Finally, it all came to pass.  Worldwide accolades, incredible wealth and talk of a Pulitzer Prize for, humbly, me.  After just a few short years, is widely credited with remaking sports journalism, forever.  No longer will sports fans have to put up with the inane, amateurish babblings of Rick Reilly, Frank Deford and Bill Simmons, when they can read Sam Arney, Joel Gunderson and Glenn Hanna, instead. It’s a whole new world and, quite frankly, is large and in charge.

When was our moment of complete domination incarnate, you ask?  Why, it was the day that Charles Fischer made the Wall Street Journal his own sandbox.

“According to Charles Fischer, who runs, a website devoted to Oregon strategy, dating back to Kelly’s days, he has retained some old Oregon favorites, such as “pulling” the center to block ahead of runs to the outside, and such as running the same plays multiple times in a row.”

“But while doing so, Fischer says, Kelly has added NFL flavors such as multiple tight end sets and even the ‘West Coast’ offense, consisting of short passes designed to lead to running yardage after the catch.”

It’s Fish’s world.  The rest of us are just lucky to live in it.

Capo di Tutti Capo

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Capo di tutti Capi

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