8 Reasons Why College Football Is the Greatest Sport of Them All

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive Leave a Comment

This is the week that we have all been waiting for. At the end of last season the Ducks summarily ushered Mack Brown out the door with a swift kick in the rear and the parting words “Next time bring a passing game.” Since that night, Oregon fans have been looking forward to the next season to finally get here. Well, it’s here. Another year of the greatest sport ever conceived since cavemen invented football – maybe.

No, not these Cavemen

flickr.com

No, not these Cavemen …

These cavemen

en.wikipedia.org

… these cavemen.

This wait, during the last summer months, has been a time of both renewal and refreshment. College football, Duck football if you will, is the best of the best, in terms of sports. Here are a few reasons why:

1.  It Moves Faster Than Any Sport Except for Hockey and the Players Get to Keep Their Teeth

Booby Clarke was a great player but he was never offered a toothpaste endorsement deal

lakingsinsider.com

Bobby Clarke was a great player, but he was never offered a toothpaste endorsement deal.

2.  When Football Players Lay on the Ground It’s a Good Bet that There Is Some Pain Involved:

Help! This man is threatening to do a push up on me!

wsjonline.com

Help! This man is threatening to do a push up on me!

3. College Football Players Have Time Honored and Appropriate Ways of Congratulating Each Other

 

Nice play!

flickr.com

Nice play!

While baseball players, well … don’t.

Niiiiccceeee...

www.forumosa.com

Niiiiccceeee …

4.  College Football Games Tend to Have More Scoring then Their Professional Counterparts

Umm, okay. That isn't exactly what I meant

dcclubbing.com

Umm, okay. That isn’t exactly what I meant, but pro games really are lower scoring.

5.  Football Players, Not Being Prima Donna Crybabies, Don’t Mind If We Talk While They Play

"We must be vewwwwyyy quiet. We are hunting wabbits." Give me a break.

jpgmag.com

“We must be vewwwwyyy quiet. We are hunting wabbits.” Give me a break.

6.  Tennis Players Just Seem to Be Brats:

Someone needs a nap

socialmediaobservatory.com

Someone needs a nap.

7.  College Football Players Aren’t Stupidily Wealthy

The store near LeBron's house was out of Charmin

www.thesportsbank.net

The 7-11 near LeBron’s house was out of Charmin.

8  But Probably the Best Reason Why College Football Is the Greatest Sport Has to Do With It’s Cyclical Nature

Eventually Johnny Manziel would have to take his tired and privileged act elsewhere

www.celebritynetworth.com

Eventually Johnny Manziel would have to take his tired and privileged act elsewhere.

The real games start next week, boys and girls! Oregon and one Dakota or the other in what could be a preview of … the second half of Oregon and some Dakota.

Go Ducks!

 

Top image by flickr.com

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