That is not an insult. It’s really a compliment. I admire Michigan State University. The Merriam-Webster definition of Spartan is “marked by simplicity, frugality or avoidance of luxury and comfort.“ And they take the definition seriously. The school motto, translated into English, means:
See what I mean?
But Michiganders as a group of sports fans are to be admired. After all, they knew Sparky Anderson after he wasn’t good anymore.
They also knew Nick Saban before he was any good:
… And Jim Schwartz, who couldn’t coach at all but can be forgiven since he operates under a physical handicap.
But the State of Michigan is a rich and diverse place. We at FishDuck.com/BoSchembechlerisagodtous would like to welcome the Spartan fans and direct them to the nearest KOA Kampground. We wouldn’t want them to get too comfortable and lose their Spartan creed. Let’s learn a little bit about Michigan:
1. Standing anywhere in the state a person is within 85 miles of one of the Great Lakes. And likely within a foot or two of another of nature’s wonders.
2. The Detroit Zoo was the first zoo in America to feature cage-less, open exhibits that allowed the animals more freedom to roam. It was like a safari right here in the middle of the United States.
3. Colon, Michigan, is home to the world’s largest manufacture of magic supplies. Even the weather is magic in this town. When the wind blows they call it a:
4. Singing sand can be found on the beaches of Grand Haven. I found this one hard to believe. So I decided that I couldn’t talk about it unless I saw it for myself. I hitched a ride on the FishDuck.com jet and lo and behold, upon my honor as a Duck fan of long-standing reputation, the Grand Haven, Michigan, sand actually sang to me.
Finally, we would like to sincerely welcome the Michigan State fans who are coming to Oregon for the game. We hope you find the weather to your liking, the city to your satisfaction and the cheerleaders … well, we don’t need to worry about them.
But here is something a little special for Oregon and Michigan State fans alike who are going to have to watch the game from home. Since:
a. The game is going to be the anchor for ESPN Game Day and …
b. A recent survey showed that 47 percent of our readership is female …
We offer, as a special gift:
Top image by www.sports-logos-screensavers.com
Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”
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