The Stanford You Never Knew

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive Leave a Comment

The Stanford Cardinal come to Autzen Stadium this week, in search of their third consecutive victory over our Oregon Ducks. FishDuck.com/whatdoesittaketogetintheSECWest is, of course, not willing to take that lying down. So we dug up some interesting information. Some of it is true. Some of it is rumors. Some of it was dreamed by Charles Fischer when he got into the ouzo on Columbus Day.

Charles likes to cannonball ouzo and then try to hang signs. I don't judge. Everyone needs a hobby.

www.rila-import.de

Charles likes to cannonball ouzo and then try to hang signs. I don’t judge. Everyone needs a hobby.

Stanford was established in 1885 by Leland Stanford. He started the school for two reasons. As a child, little Leland’s resemblance to a baby gorilla got him beat up a lot. He thought having an offensive and defensive line around would keep him safe.

"I say, old girl. I know newborn's can get off to a dicey start, but doesn't Lee look a little...simian?"

moonstarsandpaper.blogspot.com

“I say, old girl. I know newborns can get off to a dicey start, but doesn’t Lee look a little … simian?”

The second reason for the establishment of Stanford University has been kept out of the public for most of the 119-year history of the school. Only FishDuck.com/IcanunderstandMississippiStateandAuburnbutOleMisshasgottogo’s crack staff has brought the unseemly story to light. The truth is, and I must be my usual delicate self here, Leland Stanford, a devout Catholic, was assigned penance for unfortunate incidents involving farm animals that later needed therapy. Stanford’s end-life case of cross-species syphilis is perhaps explained.

HI...Bessie. Do you like my new gloves? Would you like to take in a movie sometime?

en.wikipedia.org

Hi … Bessie. Do you like my new gloves? Would you like to take in a movie sometime?

I know! We were just as shocked as you are!

One of the first decisions a school has to make involves the selection of school colors. Often the colors have to do with the surroundings. Oregon’s green and yellow depicts the green of the fields and the forest, along with the optimism associated with the color yellow.

Arizona State’s colors bring to mind the sun in desert twilight. UCLA invokes the colors of the ocean in their scheme. That’s how it normally works. Leland Stanford picked red and white because they were the favorite colors of his hero.

Vladimir Lenin

commons.wikimedia.org

Vladimir Lenin

Originally, Stanford was called the “Indians.” When that fell out of favor, a new nickname was required. The word “Cardinal” was found in some storage trunks at the Leland Stanford estate. I sent the FishDuck.com/southeasternconferencecangocommitheinouscrimesagainsteachother’spersons’ crack staff to investigate this “Citizen Kane Rosebud”-like mystery.

Can

Always

Remember

Delivering

Intolerable

Naughtiness

At

Livestock

Maybe a little dancing after the movie? You're sure pretty

en.wikipedia.org

Maybe a little dancing after the movie? You’re sure pretty.

Lately, of course, times have been good for the Cardinal. From Andrew Luck’s incredible neck-beard …

Look in the dictionary under hirsute.

losersbracket.com

Look in the dictionary under “hirsute.”

… to David Shaw’s shiny pate …

Look in the dictionary under not hirsute.

espn.go.com

Look in the dictionary under “not hirsute.”

… Stanford has been a thorn in Oregon’s side for just about long enough. So, to the Ducks of Oregon I say this: On behalf of Ducks fans old and young, as well as on behalf of those poor animals that never knew what hit them …

Go Ducks!

Top photo by commons.wikimedia.org

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

The Comments Below are CLOSED, as we are moving to the OUR BELOVED DUCKS Forum!

Comments below articles are now closed as we have moved all conversation over to the free Our Beloved Ducks Forum. It has been a big success already with many more posts than what we could fit into the comments below articles.

The Our Beloved Ducks Forum is where we we discuss the article above and many more topics, as it is so much easier in a message board format over there.  At the free OBD forum we will be posting Oregon Sports article links, the daily Press Releases from the Athletic Department and the news coming out every day.

Be a part of the forum and stay caught up!  When you wish to post there, do know that you are protected just as you were on FishDuck. Join us on the free forum right here!

Our 33 rules at the free OBD Forum can be summarized to this: 1) be polite and respectful, 2) keep it clean, and 3) no reference of any kind to politics. Easy-peasy!

OBD Forum members….we got your back.  No Trolls Allowed!

Subscribe
Notify of
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments