Remember when teams used to fear us?
It’s Oregon week, y’all. Hide me.
Well those days are pretty much behind us. There are those who would suggest we would be better off remembering the olden days, when the Civil War was the be-all and end-all after a season of getting mauled by our betters.
Do I Have To?
NO! NEIN! NYET!いいえ!Walang! I’m not willing to go there just yet. So, after getting that clear in my head I had to decide what I, personally, would be willing to do to improve our situation. I don’t have any eligibility left so place kicking is out of the question.
In my prime
But there had to be some things that I could do or be to bring back the glory days so recently passed. Finally I came up with some ideas I’m sure would help.
1. I Could Let Jim Mora Jr. Touch Me With His Right Hand in Ways Not Entirely Appropriate.
Hello Jim, nice to WHOOPSIE!
2. I Could Go to the Famous Inverted Fountain on the Campus of UCLA
Ah, so nice
3. And Decorate It
Ah, so nice
4. I Could Bring a Nice Present to Westwood
Love, FishDuck.com/desperatemuch
5. I Could Offer Myself as a Living Sacrifice to the Deity of My Choice
Some sacrifices aren’t all that sacrificial of course
But there is no guarantee that any of that would work. That’s why we at FishDuck.com/idontwanttocryattheendofthegameagainitwasembarrassing offer the following incentive to a team in need of passion and direction. The Duck that scores the winning touchdown against UCLA gets to throw a pie, baked by Charles Fischer himself, at the member of the UCLA family of his choice, past or present. We won’t even offer a subliminal suggestion.
What?
Go Ducks! The only good bruin is Yogi.
Top photo by sportslogos.net
Related Articles:
Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”