What I Am Willing to Do to Turn This Thing Around

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive Leave a Comment

Remember when teams used to fear us?

It's Oregon week, y'all. Hide me.

pixabay.com

It’s Oregon week, y’all. Hide me.

Well those days are pretty much behind us. There are those who would suggest we would be better off remembering the olden days, when the Civil War was the be-all and end-all after a season of getting mauled by our betters.

Do I Have To?

everydayshouldbesaturday.com

Do I Have To?

NO! NEIN! NYET!いいえ!Walang! I’m not willing to go there just yet. So, after getting that clear in my head I had to decide what I, personally, would be willing to do to improve our situation. I don’t have any eligibility left so place kicking is out of the question.

In my prime

en.wikipedia.org

In my prime

But there had to be some things that I could do or be to bring back the glory days so recently passed. Finally I came up with some ideas I’m sure would help.

1.  I Could Let Jim Mora Jr. Touch Me With His Right Hand in Ways Not Entirely Appropriate.

Hello Jim, nice to WHOOPS!

en.wikipedia.org

Hello Jim, nice to WHOOPSIE!

2. I Could Go to the Famous Inverted Fountain on the Campus of UCLA

Ah, so nice

en.wikimedia.org

Ah, so nice

3. And Decorate It

Ah, so nice

en.wikimedia.org

Ah, so nice

4. I Could Bring a Nice Present to Westwood

Love, FishDuck.com/desperatemuch

commons.wikimedia.org

Love, FishDuck.com/desperatemuch

5. I Could Offer Myself as a Living Sacrifice to the Deity of My Choice

Some sacrifices aren't all that sacrificial of course

pl.wikipedia.org

Some sacrifices aren’t all that sacrificial of course

But there is no guarantee that any of that would work. That’s why we at FishDuck.com/idontwanttocryattheendofthegameagainitwasembarrassing offer the following incentive to a team in need of passion and direction. The Duck that scores the winning touchdown against UCLA gets to throw a pie, baked by Charles Fischer himself, at the member of the UCLA family of his choice, past or present. We won’t even offer a subliminal suggestion.

What?

defiantlydutch.blogspot.com

What?

Go Ducks! The only good bruin is Yogi.

Top photo by sportslogos.net

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