Ladies and gentlemen, the facts, simply stated, are these: If the Ducks win the National Championship Game next week I can …
Having been a Duck fan since the late 70’s …
… and living among mangy Huskies since 1991 …
… by golly, I deserve a national championship! But it isn’t enough that I deserve a Natty and that you do as well. FishDuck.com spared no expense to prove that not only do we deserve to win, but also that Ohio most certainly DOES NOT!
1. The first ambulance service was established in Cincinnati. It was immediately dispatched to the Gator Bowl to pick up poor Charlie Bauman.
2. Seven U.S. presidents were born in Ohio: Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James A. Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, William H. Taft and Warren G. Harding.
Let’s see. A drunk, a slob, a lout, a glutton, a guy who attacked the Philippines for no good reason, another glutton and the author of the Teapot Dome Scandal. Why don’t you people from Ohio just forfeit right now? This is getting embarrassing.
3. Akron is the rubber capital of the world.
4. Ohio’s state flag is a pennant design. Probably a good idea. As the home of the Indians and Reds it will be a long time before Ohioans see any other kind of pennant.
5. Charles Goodyear of Akron developed the process of vulcanizing rubber in 1839. So Chucklehead Goodyear is to blame for this.
But the biggest reason we deserve to win the National Championship Game on Monday and Ohio State doesn’t …
Go Ducks! And I mean that!
Top photo by www.public-domain-image.com
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