Happy Birthday, FishDuck.com Style

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive Leave a Comment

This week is my wife’s birthday. She turns (#@#%* transmission garbled) years old. I wanted to get her the best birthday gift possible, so I did what any intelligent husband would do.

I asked her. My Mama didn't raise any dummies...my brothers notwithstanding.


I asked her. My mama didn’t raise any dummies … my brothers notwithstanding.

She said, “A trip to Hawaii sounds fun.”

My mirth was uncontrollabe.


My mirth was uncontrollable.

I would have to sell my body a jillion times over to finance a trip to Hawaii.

You can see the goods for a quarter. Final offer.


You can see the goods for a quarter. Final offer.

I could see she would be little help. So I called around to see if anyone else had any ideas.

Rick Neuheisel: The former coach at Colorado, Washington, and UCLA thought I should take whatever I have and buy into a basketball bracket game.

But my wager on Florida/Gulf Coast was, alas, a year to late.


But my wager on Florida/Gulf Coast was, alas, a year too late.

Tyrone Willingham: The successful former coach at Stanford, Notre Dame, and especially Washington, was unavailable. He was cleaning Charles Fischer’s pool.

0-12 must be punished.


Later he can get started on the big pool.

Jameis Winston: The presumptive first pick in the NFL Draft was helpful … in his own way.

He had some left over.


He had some left over.

But still I wondered what I could get for my wife that would make her really happy. Finally I hit on a plan.

I turned down the lights...


I turned down the lights …

Lit a couple of candles.


… lit a couple of candles …

Put on my finest masculine scent.


… put on my finest masculine scent …

… and whispered the words guaranteed to make a real woman leave claw marks on her man’s back.

"Spring football, baby. Four and a half months to go."


“Spring football, baby. Four and a half months to go.”

Works every time. Happy birthday, Jeri Deanne. Love, FishDuck.com. P.S. Charles is buying you a chinchilla coat.


Works every time. 

Happy birthday, Jeri Deanne. Love FishDuck.com. P.S.: Charles is buying you a chinchilla coat.

Go Ducks!

Top photo by flickr.com

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FishDuck Salutes this Oregon Community…

I continue to be amazed at the quality of writing and the thought given to the posts/comments below the articles.  I am very grateful that everyone has embraced the posting/commenting rules of this community as it has made my job a ton easier.

We have had as many as 3,000 posts a number of times before I ever have to delete one, and that just doesn’t happen on the web these days. My percentage of deletions to comments/posts is between one to two tenths of 1%, of which is stunning.

The new forum is delayed due to tech issues and my own life issues, but this Oregon Sports Community is going to be very special with the same rules and decorum that we presently see every day.

I salute you all for your thoughtfulness and respect toward fellow Duck fans. The Best is Yet to Be!