FishDuck’s 2nd Annual Letter to Graduates of the University of Oregon

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Governor Kate Brown, President Scott (don’t call me John) Coltrane, incoming FIFA President Hope Solo, parents and family of the 2015 graduates of the University of Oregon, and graduates one and all. My name is Kim Hastings and it is my distinct honor (on behalf of FishDuck.com/wepaidhandsomelyforthispimpspot) to be invited to speak to you on this august June (?) day.

How can it be august in June? I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

How can it be August in June? I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Graduates, your friends, and family will congratulate you today. They will say, “You did it.” Rightfully so. This is the culmination of years of hard work, much study and likely enough student loans to keep you in debt until your children go to college.

God Bless America.

God Bless America.

But, in spite of the honor today, you may have a nagging doubt inside. Are you ready to step into the world of full-on adulthood? Are you, really and truly, (gulp) grown up?

Magic 8 Ball says, "Not likely."

Magic 8 Ball says, “Not likely.”

But, graduates, I am here to say it’s okay. Many of us here today had moments of regression long after we graduated from college. Allow me to tell a short personal story, if I might. I graduated from college in 1984. Eight years later I embarked on my literary career by writing a song, to the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” It was about Washington Husky quarterback Billy Joe Hobert.

Glory, glory Billy Jo-oe. Had a wife and then a ho-oe. He’s too unaware to kno-ow, he’ll be a lou-sy pro.”

Probably not the most grown-up thing I've ever done, but you have to know what the Huskies were to the Ducks in 1992.

Probably not the most grown-up thing I’ve ever done, but you have to know what the Huskies were to the Ducks in 1992.

So you will do some grown-up things. You’ll also do some things not so adult. It’s okay. At least you didn’t grow up rooting for Bill “Earthquake” Enyart of Oregon State when they played the Ducks.

Yes, and that would pretty much be the working definition.

Yes, and that would pretty much be the working definition.

But before I go, allow me to offer just a few words of advice as you set out on life’s crooked highway.

Good to see that job training program up in Pullman is going so well.

Good to see that job training program up in Pullman is going so well.

First, remember the people who got you here today. Your parents, teachers, coaches, clergy and mentors. All are a part of the great cloud of witnesses who are proud of what you have accomplished so far. They root for your continued success …

And will probably put you up in the basement for a few nights when you see the job market out there.

… and will probably put you up in the basement for a few nights when you see the job market out there.

But most of all, years from now, when you are on the way from Whole Foods to your luxury Beemer in the parking lot …

As an Oregon grad this is your ultimate destiny.

As an Oregon grad, this is your ultimate destiny.

… give a few bucks to the down on his luck fella’.

It's probably Bill "Earthquake" Enyart himself.

It’s probably Bill “Earthquake” Enyart himself.

Congratulations to the graduates of the University of Oregon. Once a Duck, always a Duck. We’ll be calling for alumni donations in just a couple of weeks.

Top photo by flickr.com

New 2024 FishDuck Publishing Schedule….

During the off-season the FishDuck.com publishing schedule will consist of articles on Mondays and Tuesdays. Do keep checking as new articles could be published during the week when a writer has something to say.

In mid-August of 2024, we will go back to the seven-days-a-week of articles during the football season as we did in the football season of 2023.

The Our Beloved Ducks Forum (OBD) is where we we discuss the article above and many more topics, as it is so much easier in a message board format over there.  At the free OBD forum we will be posting Oregon Sports article links, the daily Press Releases from the Athletic Department and the news coming out every day.

Our 33 rules at the free OBD Forum can be summarized to this: 1) be polite and respectful, 2) do not tell anyone what to think, feel or write, and 3) no reference of any kind to politics. Easy-peasy!

OBD Forum members….we got your back.  No Trolls Allowed!