The beginning of the football season marks the return of many of our long-term writers at FishDuck.com, and Kim Hastings providing the humor is something I’ve been looking forward to all summer! He will not be on Saturdays as in the past because beginning next week — he will be spoofing our opponents on Thursdays! Welcome back, Kim! – Charles Fischer
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Hello again, everyone. Fall is right around the corner and Oregonians are most happy to see the change of seasons. We spent most of the summer looking for shade.
Can I sit next to you, sir?
And enjoying the bounty of nature.
Isn’t the forest pretty this year?
But football season gets underway today for most of the country. While there isn’t a team’s fan-base in the country more excited than Oregon’s …
Vernon isn’t Marcus. But Tee Martin wasn’t Peyton Manning either. Just maybe …
… we are sure other teams in the Pac-12 are as excited to start the new campaign.
Dateline, Boulder: The Colorado Buffaloes joined the Pac-12 with an eye to contending for top of the league honors. It hasn’t happened. Members of the Buffalo coaching staff believe a lack of mental toughness and an inability to act under pressure may have been to blame. They have taken innovative steps on defense.
Fall camp for Colorado’s defensive unit included a course in field dressing a nuclear warhead.
Blindfolded.
Dateline, Los Angeles: Trojan fans greeted the hiring of Steve Sarkisian with a great deal of excitement.
But for some Trojan fans, slight doubts are beginning to creep in.
They could have learned a lesson from Washington fans. They, too, believed the Bark for Sark regime would lead to greatness. And it could have happened in Seattle. The Huskies only needed one small thing to happen for Sarkisian to win in Seattle.
Who knew they couldn’t?
Dateline, Seattle: Speaking of the Huskies, the establishment of Chris Petersen at the helm has brought nothing but a seminal rush of joy and anticipation to the Emerald City (A term stolen from Eugene, but why should we be surprised?). Our Puget Sound correspondent rushed to Seattle Center to find Husky fans preparing for the season to come.
We found an entire fan-base agog with anticipation.
Dateline, Corvallis: Finally we went to Corvallis to see if the start of What’s-His-Name’s career with the Beavs was drawing any interest.
True story. I sat here for 10 minutes trying to remember OSU’s new coach’s name without using Google. Zip. Nada.
But no one was in town to talk to us. Apparently everyone was out thrashing Hairy Vetch.
We decided to give Harry his privacy.
Go Ducks! Eviscerate the Eagles!
Top Image by boomerpdx.wordpress.com
Related Articles:
Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA.
He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as “TacomaDuck.”