Recapping a Surprisingly Entertaining Week 1 of CFB

Jon Joseph Editorials

Week 1 of college football is in the books. All in all, it was a weekend more or less devoid of drama, the glaring exception being the Ducks’ epic collapse against Auburn (c’mon, it’s time to move forward). But interesting storylines and developments were aplenty. You just need to do a little digging to find them.

Week 1 News, Notes and Everything In Between

Auburn grad and Apple CEO Tim Cook was interviewed by ESPN’s Maria Taylor prior to the Oregon-Auburn game. The obvious missed question: Who has the bigger bank, you or Uncle Phil?

FAU at Ohio State — Between the visor, tan and puffy face, did anyone else think Lane Kiffin looked less like a football coach and more like a Key West dockside bar fly about to order a seventh Captain and Coke?

On Sunday, a number of folks (the nerds who sat behind you in high school that you so wanted to punch out) pointed out that this is the 150th anniversary of college football, but not the 150th year that CFB has been played. Apparently, there was no CFB played in 1871.

1871, like 2016 for Oregon, was a lost season for CFB.

Upon hearing this interesting tidbit, I called Mr. FishDuck to ask him how he survived 1871 without CFB. His spouse informed me that he was locked inside his man cave with two cases of IPA and was accepting neither nourishment, calls nor visitors.

Apparently ESPN’s Desmond Howard expects Kansas to go bowling this season. There has to be at least one bowling alley in Lawrence, Kansas, right?

“Momma, don’t let your babies grow up to be tackling dummies.” That’s what parents of the Idaho players were saying to themselves after the Nittany Lions‘ shellacking of the Vandals. Idaho Vandals AD speaking to the Idaho school Prez: “I have a great idea. We’ll send our guys from Moscow to Happy Valley, Pennsylvania, if our pilot can find it and pick up a big check!”

End result: 79 – 7

Where have you gone Chip Kelly? Bruins nation turns a lonely eye toward you. Think Gators fans are happy they got New Hampshire guy Dan Mullen and not New Hampshire guy Chipper?

Times are tough for Kelly in Westwood.

Dear, LSU, Michigan and USC, welcome to 21st century offense. I believe you will enjoy scoring far more points. Very truly Yours, the Pirate from the Palouse.

With both setting records for their respective schools, transfers Justin Fields (Ohio State) and Jalen Hurts (Oklahoma) both had half-decent opening games. Can QB whisperer Lincoln Riley go three-for-three in coaching transfer QB Heisman winners? Both lads passed and ran for significant yardage. Just sayin’.

Apparently, “It Just Means Less” in Missouri, South Carolina, Tennessee and Oxford, Mississippi … And hats off to the Hogs for taking down mighty Portland State 20-13! SEC, SEC, SEC!

“Come to the West, the (Mountain) West is the best?” Hawaii says aloha and mahalo to Kevin Sumlin’s defense. 600-plus yards of offense put up on a Pac-12 defense with eight returning starters? Six turnovers and Hawaii still wins? First time this has happened when a Group of 5 school played a Power 5 school.

Wolf Pack walk-on hits 56 yard field goal at buzzer to take down Boilermakers. I wonder how many boilermakers the Purdue coaching staff chugged down on the lo-o-ong flight home to Indiana.

The Laramie Lads lasso the Mizzou Tigers.

Missouri fell victim to Craig Bohl’s Cowboys.

Hurricane Dorian forced the Boise State-FSU game, scheduled to kick off at 7:30 PM in Jacksonville, to be moved to the Seminoles’ home field in Tallahassee — kickoff at 10 AM, Boise body-clock time. Temperature in the low 90’s, humidity 85%. Boise, down 18 at the half, holds the fighting Willie Taggarts scoreless in the 2nd half and, behind a true frosh QB, rallies for the improbable road win.

Taggart is being called out for having no defensive coaches upstairs, except for a grad assistant. Surprised? Not I. Taggart had a losing record in the Group of 5 …

On the Pac-12 home front, the Pirate has a pitcher. Jacob Eason looks more than capable in homecoming debut. The Stanford defense is salty. SEC guy Mel Tucker, now in charge at CU, leads the Buffs to a victory over Colorado State. The Urban Meyer watch heats up with the unfortunate season ending injury to QB J.T. Daniels, who played well before going down. The Herms hold serve against Nick Saban’s alma mater. The Utes look as good as advertised.

Coach in the Skillet: Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee

Big Sigh of Relief: Matt Campbell, Iowa State

Coach of the Week: Brian Harsin, Boise State

Boise State stunned Florida State.

Game of the Week: Boise State at FSU

Upcoming: Texas A&M at Clemson, LSU at Texas, Army at Michigan, Stanford at USC

Nevada will be coming into Autzen with hair on fire. Remember, it’s not how you start that matters; it’s how you finish! Chutzpah!

At a breakfast event in Portland, after reminding an audience of business people that he was captain of the Harvard tennis team, Larry Scott tells them it’s not his fault that Pac-12 ADs hire the wrong CFB head coaches and that said coaches cannot recruit. Really?

Meanwhile in Birmingham AL: with Hurricane Dorian messing up commercial flights, SEC commissioner Greg Sankey refuses to pay for a private flight and instead drives to Dallas.

Take notes, Larry.

Jon Joseph
Georgetown, TexasTop Photo by Melissa Macatee


Phil Anderson, the Volunteer editor for this article, is a trial lawyer in Bend Oregon.


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