Love.
It can evoke happiness, excitement, euphoria and satisfaction.
But, it can often be frustrating, painful, elusive and fleeting.
I recently took a road trip to visit friends, family, and most importantly, a love interest with whom I had been texting and video chatting for more than 2 months. We met up several times over the week and had a blast, but, in the end (without going into excruciating detail), it was decided that the connection and chemistry were not quite there.
Yup; as it turns out, it was not love — we just really, really liked each other.
Oh so close, but oh so far. It was painful as the stakes were high, but it was simply not meant to be.
So you must be asking, “Geez, Darren — what does your pathetic love life have to do with Oregon football?”
Well, FishDuck reader, I’m glad you asked.
As Duck fans, we have felt much love over the past 30 years, especially as Runners Up in 2001, 2010, and 2014. But, with that love was the pain and anguish of coming so close to winning it all and losing.
In the past couple of seasons under HC Dan Lanning, the Ducks have successfully dated success and were on the verge of taking the relationship to the next level by making the 4-team playoff, but, the connection was just not there. So, they decided to become good friends with success and nurtured that friendship with a solid 11-2 season in 2022 capped off with a win in the Holiday Bowl. While in 2023, the Ducks went 12-2 with a Fiesta Bowl championship.
In the game of love, certain elements must be in place for a relationship to work, such as attraction, chemistry, lifestyle and vibe. For a college football program to win a National Championship, those elements include the head coach, recruiting, money and coaching strategy (X’s and O’s). Of course, there are many more, but for now, we will focus on these four uber important pieces.
Let’s look at how the Ducks are doing on these important elements.
Head Coach Dan Lanning
In his short time as a head coach, Lanning is proving to be everything that a big-time college coach should be. He’s energetic, connects with his players (and pretty much everyone), recruits at the highest level, hires good coaches, and is just the classic “head of winning program” type of guy. He seems destined to be in the same conversation years from now as all-time greats such as Nick Saban, Tom Osborne, Kirby Smart, Jimmy Johnson and Bob Stoops.
Recruiting
When Mario Cristobal left for Miami, many Oregon fans, including myself, were super worried that the Ducks would free-fall in the recruiting rankings after Cristobal took them to new heights. Well, as it turns out, our worries were in vain as Lanning has not only maintained Cristobal’s success but even exceeded it.
Rivals.com ranked the Ducks No. 9 overall in 2023, and No. 6 in 2024. In the transfer portal rankings, the Ducks finished No. 13 in 2023 and No. 14 in 2024. Of course, we are all trying to figure out what constitutes a good transfer portal ranking (Colorado was No. 1 both years, so go figure), but it is clear that Lanning is not afraid to get out there and mix it up when it comes to snagging good players.
Fair or not, the only question mark so far is if Lanning is a “big game” coach. He’s 0-3 against the Huskies and got reamed by Georgia. But, the past two years have been program building for the young coach. If losing “big games” continues this year and next year then that claim will be legit. I predict that there is no way the Ducks will not beat the Huskies this year. He just happened to join Oregon when UW experienced two magical seasons that will most likely never be repeated in our lifetimes.
Money
Not much to say here. The Ducks have a lot of money and are not afraid to spend it as they have one of the best NIL collectives in the country. It has been 30 years since Phil Knight famously asked former head coach Mike Bellotti, “What do we need to get to the next level?”
We all know how that has played out.
Hard to believe this angel from above is partly responsible for costing me true love. As you can see, Walter is a little depressed about it. (Photo credit: Darren Perkins)
Coaching Strategy (X’s and O’s)
One thing we did not stress about when Cristobal left was his in-game coaching, as he is arguably the worst in the country. With Nike NIL money comes assistant coaching money. So, for a program like Oregon, it is hard to have a bad coaching staff. But chemistry is key, and Lanning has done a great job hiring guys who buy into his culture (and big element).
When Oregon lost popular offensive coordinator Kenny Dillingham (to ASU), Lanning didn’t hire a proven power conference coach as his replacement, he went for the up-and-coming Will Stein from the University of Texas San Antonio. UTSA is not exactly a football powerhouse. I liken it to Bellotti hiring Chip Kelly from New Hampshire. Lanning’s “out of the box” thinking was a home run, as Stein was outstanding in 2023.
One thing I like about dating or meeting new people is learning some new slang expressions and integrating them into my armory of funny expressions. When there was something yucky, my date would say “gross-burger.” If it was really yucky then she would say “gross-burger with cheese.”
The Ducks will be integrating new transfer quarterback in Dillon Gabriel, who is the Heisman Trophy frontrunner and will bring excitement and energy to Oregon’s armory of offensive weapons.
A painful lesson I learned is that when you are holding a woman while looking deeply into her eyes and she looks as wonderful as could be, you should not talk to her in the same cute little voice you use to talk to your dog. This is a no-go (yes, I was that clueless). But, damn, my dog Walter really likes it. Apparently, my ex was an exception to that rule, as it did not go over well with the woman on my trip. Oops.
Will the Ducks learn from their painful lesson of losing to the Huskies three times in the past two years?
Are you in love with Oregon’s chances of winning the Natty, or do you just really, really like their chances?
What other elements does it take to win a Natty?
And if you are an attractive woman, interested in a fit, about-to-be-50, Oregon Football dork with a great sense of humor, and a full head of hair… hit me up!
At least we know one thing for sure about Oregon’s upcoming 2024 season: it will not be a gross-burger!
Darren Perkins
Spokane, WA
Top photo credit: FishDuck.com Archive
Natalie Liebhaber, the FishDuck.com Volunteer Editor for this article, works in technology in SLC, Utah.
Darren Perkins is a sales professional and 1997 Oregon graduate. After finishing school, he escaped the rain and moved to sunny Southern California where he studied screenwriting for two years at UCLA. Darren grew up in Eugene and in 1980, at the tender age of five, he attended his first Oregon football game. His lasting memory from that experience was an enthusiastic Don Essig announcing to the crowd: “Reggie Ogburn, completes a pass to… Reggie Ogburn.” Captivated by such a thrilling play, Darren’s been hooked on Oregon football ever since. Currently living in Spokane, Darren enjoys flaunting his yellow and green superiority complex over friends and family in Cougar country.