Congratulations are in order. After surviving a white-knuckle hell ride against the lowborn Bruins last weekend, the No. 6 Oregon Ducks put the “quack” back in “victory” after steamrolling the visiting Michigan State Spartans 31-10 on Friday night at Autzen Stadium in Eugene.
Of course, I joke about UCLA. There’s nothing funny about a Big Ten basement dweller nesting in football mediocrity after its former head coach abandoned the program for greener and less labor-intensive pastures. (Sorry, Chip. It’s true, though.)
What is deadly serious is Oregon’s defensive front, a gang of savage marauders that spent 60 minutes squirrel hunting Spartans quarterback Aiden Chiles, racking up five sacks and handfuls of broken plays, deflected passes and bone-crushing play. Nearly every snap, Oregon defensive tackle Jamaree Caldwell disrupted the Michigan State O-line, busting through coverage like the Kool-Aid Man crashing into a living room.
Chiles, when he wasn’t being thrown around like a sack of potatoes, spent much of the game running for his life, likely eyeing the stadium’s tunnel back to the locker room. Ducks’ edge rusher Jordan Burch was a waking nightmare for Spartans coach Jonathan Smith, who had no answer for the 6-foot-6, 295-pound sleep paralysis demon making a mess of his offensive schemes. Burch led the team with 2.5 sacks and a goal-line fumble recovery, changing the tenor of the game early for the Ducks.
The Ducks sacked Spartans quarterback Aiden Chiles five times on Friday night at Autzen Stadium. Photo by Craig Strobeck
Oregon quarterback Dillon Gabriel completed 20 of 32 passes for 287 yards, two touchdowns, and, yes, two interceptions in the red zone. Jordan James trampled over the Spartans, finishing with a career-high 166 yards on 24 carries, including a 40-yard gash, and a touchdown. Tip of the cap to the Oregon offensive line, who are playing lights out and exponentially better each week.
Back to Gabriel. In nearly identical scenarios to last week’s pick-six to the Bruins, Gabriel once again tried to squeeze the ball through a narrow opening long after the window of opportunity had closed. And he did it twice. There were some Oregon podcast hosts who were beside themselves in their postgame recaps, barely able to drink from their giant cups while breathlessly blathering about Gabriel’s interceptions becoming a disturbing trend.
They’re not. Take another sip of your happy juice.
Is it good to have turnovers at the goal line? Are you going to make me answer that question? Really? Okay, of course not, it’s a bummer. Guess who it bums out more than anyone else on this planet? Gabriel — who will likely spend the weekend strapped to a chair with his eyes clamped open, watching those interceptions on a loop like a Clockwork Orange. Non-fatal errors are coachable moments. Give the guy a break.
Oregon’s Derrick Harmon hunts down the Spartans’ ball carrier on Friday night. Photo by Craig Strobeck
The Ducks improve to 5-0 as they prepare for their stiffest competition yet: Ohio State. Oregon is playing Big Boy football as a legitimate heavyweight contender. This is what it’s all about. Coaches Dan Lanning, Tosh Lupoi and Will Stein have the green-and-yellow gridiron sizzling. Is the offense perfect? No. But this team’s identity is coming into focus behind one of the best defensive units in the country. The Buckeyes have a real challenge waiting for them next weekend.
If you’re like me, Oregon’s drubbing of the Sparty left most of my Saturday afternoon open to catch some other games featuring fellow teams formerly from the Mountain West, err, I mean Pac-12. Here’s what I saw:
No. 11 USC lost to 24-17 to Minnesota on a goal line quarterback sneak that nearly gave Gophers coach PJ Fleck a stroke during the official’s review (They didn’t initially rule it as a touchdown, but the call was reversed.) The Trojans, once riding the preseason wave as the Big Ten’s only directional school (Northwestern doesn’t count, does it?), are now walking sad-face emojis after once again finding themselves on the wrong end of the conference standings. (Don’t worry SC fans, Los Angeles is such a large media market, I’m sure they won’t won’t even drop in the AP poll.)
The Huskies defeated No. 10 Michigan 27-17 at the home kennel after getting pantsed by Rutgers last week. Ah yes, I revel in the foibles and folly of first-year Washington coach Jedd Fisch, the visored huckster who sold a bridge to Arizona before moving his grift to the Pacific Northwest. Fisch (think Dollar General Chip Kelly) showed his bonafides as a coaching dink, leading the lowly Dawgs to a 4-2 start in what has become a prolonged hangover in Seattle after last season’s national championship appearance. Sure, the team beat Michigan with an asterisk: the Wolverines are bad. Fisch’s penchant for egregious coaching snafus will likely lead to disaster until the good people of Washington, fed up with his lightly quaffed hair and poor life/football choices, shoot him out of a cannon into the sun.
That’s all I got this week. Go Ducks!
Jordan is a lifelong Duck fan currently living in San Diego. Jordan graduated from The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, after serving a prestigious fellowship with the Washington State House of Representatives. Upon graduation, he worked as an English language teaching assistant for the Spanish Ministry of Education’s Ambassadorial Program in Monforte de Lemos, Spain. Jordan has worked as a journalist, writer, and editor in Oregon, Washington, Montana, and California, covering a wide range of topics, including sports, local politics, and crime. He is VERY excited to be writing about his beloved Oregon Ducks.