Newest Concession Items in College Sports

Kim Hastings FishWrap, FishWrap Archive

Have you seen the newest food item offered by the Arizona Diamondbacks? It’s called the Churro Dog. It’s a chocolate bakery bar around a cinnamon churro topped with FroYo, whipped cream, and chocolate and caramel sauces.

If the Fro-Yo was premium ice cream I would never stop eating these.

If FroYo were premium ice cream, I would never stop eating.

We at FishDuck.com have been known to do our best thinking with our mouths full. With this as our inspiration, we wondered what comment-worthy foods might be served at college sports venues around the country.

1. University of Louisville: Cardinal fans knew what they were getting when Head Coach Bobby Petrino was hired. His extra-marital peccadilloes were discovered as part of an investigation of a motorcycle accident. He left the Atlanta Falcons mid-season and informed them of his departure with a note!

But fans are forgiving as long as they believe a prominent bowl game is in the offing. Now, though, there is a problem at Louisville football games:

The oil off Petrino has gotten into the chicken nuggets.

The oil off Petrino has gotten into the chicken nuggets.

2. University of Southern California: Sometimes public perception turns out to be wrong. Look at Russell Wilson. At 5’10” and having taken a savage beating at the hands of the Ducks in the 2012 Rose Bowl (heh heh), who would have thought that he could be a starting NFL quarterback from day one?

The Seahawks didn’t. They gave Matt Flynn a yacht-load of money so they didn’t have to start Wilson. Remember that next time someone calls Pete Carroll a genius. But there are also times public perception turns out to be right on the money. Exhibit one: Lane and Monte Kiffin. The Kiffins’ departure from Troy was without fanfare, but it created a dilemma at the concession stands.

What were the Trojans to do with all the leftover Lane Kiffin is a Melonhead novelty snacks?

What were the Trojans to do with all the leftover “Monte Kiffin is a Melonhead” novelty snacks?

3. University of Washington: I’m channeling my inner Bill Walton now. Are you old enough to remember when Washington fans had something of which to be proud? Remember when they called Oregon disparaging names and our fans were insulted at every turn?

Truth told, Walton’s allusions usually have something to do with reality in the last 15 years. Some of you likely weren’t born when Washington was anything but a speed bump on the way to Oregon’s ownership of the I-5 corridor. Sit down, youngsters. The Huskies were good back when paying players was de riguer in college football. They may say it was all about the fruit baskets. It wasn’t.

Fruit baskets, my Duck butt! Don James was passing out apricot orchards up there.

Fruit baskets, my Duck butt! Don James was passing out apricot orchards up there.

But times have changed, and the concessionaires at Husky Stadium are feeling the pinch. When a Husky fan wants a stadium breakfast before an early kick-off …

He just wipes a little of the egg off his face.

He just wipes a little of the egg off his face.

4. Oregon State University: OSU has a glimmer of hope when it comes to basketball. By the sweat of his pits Wayne Tinkle has the Beaver fans anything but pissed off.

Unfortunately, football is another story. Oregon State sold its soul to the devil for a few glorious months with Dennis Erickson and athlete (non-student variety) Chad Johnson. Now their concession stand special of the day speaks the truth.

Cooked Goose

Cooked Goose

5. University of Oregon: Ever since the advent of the Bellotti Burger, the Ducks have been cutting-edge in stadium fare. New for 2015, available at the food booth furthest east on the south side of Autzen Stadium:

Winner Schnitzel

Winner Schnitzel

Top photo by en.wikimedia.org

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