Goes to the Movies

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If you are anything like me, Frank Kaminsky has made it difficult to sleep during the last week. He has surpassed Urban Meyer in the Insomnia Derby.

I counted Buckeyes until the Badgers ate them.

I counted Buckeyes until the Badgers ate them.

But it’s time to put it aside. The Ducks had a better year on the hardwood than most of us thought they could. They made the tournament and played to their seed. (An 8 seed x 4 regions = the 29th-32nd ranked team in the tourney. Beaten in the round of 32 = playing to our seed.)

Nice job!

Nice job!

So let’s take a break from the NCAA tournament. This week takes you to the movies. We pay attention to Rotten Tomatoes. But we occasionally ignore their rating system. We rate the movies opening this weekend with our proprietary Starfish grading system. A rating of “zero Fishies” means we will skip it. A rating of “four Fishies” means we will run out, probably in the next 20 minutes, and see it at an overpriced first-run movie house.

One large popcorn, a box of Milk Duds, and a large Coke. Do you finance?

One large popcorn, a box of Milk Duds and a large Coke. Do you have a payment plan?

Get Hard: Know something about Will Ferrell. He makes laugh until our tummies jiggle. In Get Hard, he prepares, with the help of Kevin Hart, to go to prison. We are dead certain there will be some inappropriate humor and cringe-worthy moments. Sort of like Oregon State’s highlight tape for almost any sport. Rotten Tomatoes: 29, Starfish: 3.6

We have a weakness for Will Ferrell movies. It's one of our more charming traits.

We have a weakness for Will Ferrell movies. It’s one of our more charming traits.

Home: Know something about animation – has to really, REALLY believe in the premise and the filmmakers, or it is a non-starter. In Home, a purple critter (possible Tinky Winky’s older cousin or Rick Neuheisel’s love child) learns it’s okay to be different. It is. It’s also okay to wait a while to see HomeRotten Tomatoes: 38, Starfish: 1.1

Serena: Know something about a period romance starring Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper. It sounds like something appealing to the softer nature of Gildshire. They played off one another brilliantly in Silver Linings Playbook. In Serena, J-Law plays a woman who overcomes nature and long odds. The sports fan equivalent would be having been born in Pullman. Rotten Tomatoes: 22, Starfish: 2.5

Jennifer Lawrence rocking the Red Carpet.

Jennifer Lawrence rocking the red carpet.

While We’re Young: About Ben Stiller movies … finds them consistently good over a wide range of content. Stiller was earnest and believable in the Meet the Parents trilogy. He was earnest and humble in Along Came Polly. He was flat-out hilarious in Zoolander, and lifted a glass with ice and an umbrella in it when we heard about Zoolander 2. In While We’re Young, Stiller finds new life around a younger couple. finds new life looking forward to it. While We’re Young is also the plaintive cry heard from Seattle as aging Husky fans pine for a win over the Ducks. Rotten Tomatoes: 80, Starfish: 4.0

Ben Stiller warming up for what will likely be an Oscar-worthy performance in Zoolander 2.

Ben Stiller warming up for what will likely be an Oscar-worthy performance in Zoolander 2.

The Riot Club (Posh): Know something about movies where the undeserving rich get a comeuppance. is in favor of it … at least until we inherit a lot of money from a rich uncle. Then we will be disgusted by such a movie. For now we are living in a one bedroom apartment, driving an economy car and only occasionally being invited to Chez’ in Grand Cayman. Bring on the film about the snobby upper-class being cut down to size! Rotten Tomatoes: 67, Starfish: 3.25

We’ll see you at the movies.

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