You Tell Us: How Many Games Will the Ducks Win?

Darren Perkins Editorials

SPECIAL EDITION: Please tell us your predictions below in the comments section

This past week, two of FishDuck’s finest made their regular-season predictions on how many games the Ducks will win this year.

On Monday, young (OK “middle-age approaching”) and fatally cocky Padawan Jedi Darren Perkins predicted that the Ducks would party like it’s 2005 and win ten games. While on Wednesday, wise-old Grand Master Jedi Charles Fischer solemnly predicted a mere six victories.  

THE REAL CHARLES FISCHER: Yes, as Charles has made clear to all of us — as you can plainly see from this photo of himself at home — the FishDuck years have been hard on him (at least he aged the right color). Yet he still parades around that 2012 pre-FishDuck “glamour shot” all over the website, which is pretty damn weird. Anyway, as Mr FishDuck’s age increases, his predictions for Duck victories decreases.

Since the the force always finds balance, the smart money would say eight. And after last season, we could probably all live with that.

So, now we turn it over to YOU — the readers. In the comments section below please tell us your predictions for the 2017 regular season.

But of course, before handing it over to you I must meander on a bit more. Afterall, it’s my job to come up with at least 500 words, so here it goes …

2017 Regular Season Win Guide (with grades)

12 Wins: In one of the greatest turnarounds in college football history, Willie “the next Nick Saban” Taggart victoriously rides off Rich Brooks field upon his players shoulders after destroying the Beavers in the Civil War, and then … we … all … wake … up. With a large puddle of drool on our pillows. It won’t happen. But if it did: GRADE A++

11: Would take the ten wins predicted by Perkins plus an upset at Stanford or Washington, whom he predicted they would lose to. The odds would say against Stanford. GRADE A+

10: What that moron Perkins predicted, which means it’ll never happen, but if it did, what a frickin’ genius! Could lead to him acquiring his first groupie … yet still 23,642.5 (please don’t ask about the .5) behind Charles. GRADE A

9: If the Ducks do what they’re capable of and win all the games they “should” as predicted by multiple college football outlets, which would make things kinda’ boring, really. But we’ll take boring over bad any day. GRADE B+

8: The 2016 frown that was 4-8 is turned upside down to 8-4. The Ducks play as they would in a nine-win season with losses to UW, Stanford, and UCLA, then have a down week against, gulp, the likes of a red-hot Luke Falk and the Cougs. Ugh. Gross. Puke. GRADE B

7: Some, might say the lowest acceptable number of wins, just look at the schedule. Grade C

THE REAL DARREN PERKINS: “young,” “hopeful,” “optimistic,” “innocent,” etc., etc.. All true of course (wink-wink). Definitely “naive” or just plain “dumb” enough to think the Ducks can win 10 games. Good luck, Kid.

6: Charles’ prediction, which is understandable due to the change in schemes on both offense and defense. But, six only gets a pass in Perkins’ book if there are significant injuries — such as Herbert getting carried off on a stretcher against Nebraska. If not, some might wonder if Taggart was the right hire, but look for bright spots and improvement in key areas while holding tight for a year-two turnaround.  GRADE C–

5 or less: We all sign a large card of apology to Mark Helfrich with an $11.6 million gift card slipped inside … oh wait he’s already getting that. GRADE: F.  F as in

Now it’s Up to You … 

Again, feel free to make your predictions down below in the comments.

But before you do, think about this: Last season the Ducks went 4-8, but just a play or two here and there against Nebraska, Colorado, and Cal — and if they had actually shown up against a really bad Beaver team — then they go 8-4. Kinda’ scary, huh?

So, what does this mean?

Nothing, I’m just trying to make you overthink things and mess with your head as to put the kibosh on your predictions.

You’re welcome!

Darren Perkins
Spokane, WA

Top Photo by John Sperry

New 2024 FishDuck Publishing Schedule….

During the off-season the publishing schedule will consist of articles on Mondays and Tuesdays. Do keep checking as new articles could be published during the week when a writer has something to say.

In mid-August of 2024, we will go back to the seven-days-a-week of articles during the football season as we did in the football season of 2023.

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