Cristobal’s O-Line Deserves a Nickname: What’s Your Choice?

Jordan Ingram Editorials 67 Comments

Since the Oregon Ducks’ (3-1) disappointing loss to the Oregon State Beavers (2-2) last week, I’ve been seeking a palate cleanser. As fans, we are often reduced to rambling complaints, wild speculation, midnight arguments with complete strangers and drastic calls to action (fire Helfrich!).

Guilty as charged. But every once in a while, we have been known to have some fun.

As you already know, Oregon’s starting offensive line consists of an entirely new lineup, which was going to be led by Outland Trophy winner Penei Sewell before he decided to enter the NFL Draft. So let’s meet the fab five: senior left tackle George Moore (6-foot-6, 325 pounds), junior left guard T.J. Bass (6-5, 318), junior center Alex Forsyth (6-4, 305), junior right tackle Malaesala Aumavae-Laulu (6-6, 325) and junior right guard Ryan Walk (6-3, 290).

The five men protecting sophomore quarterback Tyler Shough have done a fairly decent job in the trenches this season, allowing just four sacks for -20 yards. The offense under first-year offensive coordinator Joe Moorhead has averaged 7.5 yards per play and 491.8 yards of total offense per game, scoring 21 touchdowns in four games. The Ducks have been pretty effective running the ball too, averaging 5.6 yards per carry and 202.3 yards per game. Not too shabby for an entire system overhaul.

Tom Corno

“You can’t touch this…”

So what shall we call these hulking specimens of gridiron glory? Here’s my working list:

  • Flat Earth Society
  • Gimme Your Lunch Bunch
  • Mario’s Manhandlers
  • House of Pancakes 
  • Willamette Whoppers
  • Gridiron Gravy Guzzlers
  • Corpulent Commission
  • Saggy Bottom Boys
  • The Road Graders
  • Turf Club
  • Duck Justice Department 
  • Great Wall O’ Beef
  • All-You-Can-Eat Fleet
  • Brisket Fists: Hand of Fate OR Fistful of Briskets

Now, it’s your turn, Ducks fans. Gimme your best nicknames for Mighty Oregon’s offensive line!

A special thanks to my Uncle Fred for a few of the names I mentioned above! 

Jordan Ingram
San Diego, California
Top Photo by Eugene Johnson

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Charles Fischer, Mr. FishDuck

Double-Header Basketball Day!

The Women play Colorado at 2:00 PM on the Pac-12 Network and the Men play at 6:00 PM on Fox Sports 1.

And what do you think of the Wolf Grey Uniforms being worn against Cal?

(I don’t like them at all, and the last time we played in grey uniforms against WSU in 2015–we got our butts kicked)

David Marsh

The last time we wore grey was against UC Davis in 2016… They looked like pajamas … but 2016 wasn’t a good year for Oregon football.

These uniforms look better than the previous grey iterations… mostly because it looks more like a dirty white rather than a full on grey. These uniforms don’t excite me but there are certainly worse combos.

BigDucksFan

… but 2016 wasn’t a good year for Oregon football. – – – neither is 2020.

BigDucksFan

Seems like they fit right in with the year 2020.

Jon Joseph

AMEN!

Jon Joseph

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?

On 12/22/20, ‘The Christmas Star’ returns for the 1st time in 800 years. Notice that these are all prime #s plus a 0.

Also on this date, Venus and Saturn will be .1 degree apart in their azimuth. The closest to one another since our species has been keeping track of such events.

BigDucksFan

Hmmmm, also Pluto is alining with Planet 9. Should be fun or better yet different.

Jon Joseph

I believe Pluto has been sent to his room?

BigDucksFan

Yes, and we can’t find Planet 9, he must have run away.

30Duck

Lady Ducks roll over the Buffs.82-53. Powered by a double-double from Nyara Sabally, the Ducks pulled away from Colorado in the 2nd half. There was a scare when Sedona Prince left midway through the 3rd quarter. But after some ice on her ankle, she was back in the game

Jon Sousa

I’m pretty sure the grey uniforms had nothing to do with why we got our butts kicked. But…. How interesting would it have been if they wore those uniforms last week in the fog???????

MaiTaiDuck

The Hallowed Hog’s!

Krsmqn

“Park CJ here.”

Notalot

Playing on Jon’s lead: Mirabal’s Maulers
”Fighting Ducks” Front line
Mirabal’s Fighting Front
Quack Attack

Jeremiah Geiger

I like the grey unis!

winstonrealtyandinsgmail-com

How about the Green Wall

David Marsh

Here’s another nickname…

The Breakfast Club

Or

The Brunch Bunch

Because they are serving up pancakes…

Charles Fischer, Mr. FishDuck

The Breakfast Bunch

“There is a ton of ham, they bring the juice and they serve a bunch of pancakes!”

Annie

The Oh! Line.

Jon Joseph

NICE!

FishIceCream

For lowbrows like me: The Duck Destroyers.

For highfalutin types: Anatidae Excidio
Look it up before you ask; I am a lowbrow!

duckcardinal

Note that the Knight Commission is located in Washington, DC.

It seems the intent would be to downwardly distribute income in a socialistic manner i.e. not taking account of which programs in fact produced the most income. Not a surprise considering the background of the Knight Commission co-chair who cites that 80% of the $475M broadcast revenues go to the power 5, without mentioning that those are the schools who EARN that $ with their conference contracts! They seem to want United Nations type math where a vote by Yemen counts the same as a vote by Russia, and they both get similar shares of revenue.

Yes, finances are a mess for college athletics, and will likely be the rich getting richer in the near future, but setting up another governing body of administrators with bloated salaries & overhead charged to those same student athletes sounds like just another gang of hustlers trying to get another pound of flesh out of student athletes.

Jon Sousa

Made me laugh when I connected the dots!

30Duck

#21 MBB is currently favored over Seton Hall. Unable to find lines for WBB, though the #10 Lady Ducks are expected to extend their 21 game winning streak with a win over the Buffaloes. In other news, #1 South Carolina lost to #8 NC State at home, 54-46.

Logger29

How about “Do Somethings?” Willie the wordsmith pulled that out of his you know where about 30 seconds before his first press conference. Ironically, it seems sort of appropriate for this season’s O Line. Proving the old adage, “If you throw enough garbage up against the wall, some of it is bound to stick.”

Jon Joseph

OK, I’ll take a shot: ‘Mario’s Maulers?’

David Marsh

The Green Wall…

Jon Sousa

This one crossed my mind.

Drake

The NutQuackers…it’s that time of year.

Jon Joseph

‘The Uncle Fred’s?’ KIDDING! Thanks for the perfectly timed, light-hearted take.

I meditated last night on the length of time between the Boston Red Sox first and second, World Series championships.

The Sox ‘rebuild’ took a mere 80 or so, seasons; seasons that ended with: ‘Wait Until Next Year!’ Along the way the Sox came tantalizingly close a few times. Like taking the Cardinals and the Reds to 7 games. But The Olde Towne Team could not capture the ultimate prize. Some of the less tolerant Sox fans blamed this flaming out, decade after decade, on bad coaching, and/or the players, no matter how lofty their reputation, not being up to the task.

I, of course, accepted the repeated failures with perfect grace, equanimity and patience. After all, Karma is a witch. The Sox did sell off Babe Ruth to the (expletive deleted) Yankees, and Fenway Park did open the night the Titanic went down. So what can one expect?

Hey, if it does take the Ducks 80 years to win the CFB Natty; well, January, 3000, will be perfect for me!

This gives me all the time I need to stock up on food and drink for The Big One.

Plenty of time to visit the optometrist for improved bionic viewing implants.

Plenty of time to visit the Amazon Portal to have the biggest 3D-360-Virtual Reality-Hologram-Wrap-Around-Signal-Reception-Device, delivered to me via Portal-to-Portal Transport.

No worries for a tech dummy. This top-of-the-line equipment will, of course, come with a virtual mini-robot. One that will install everything and have it in perfect working order, before ‘it’ vanishes into cyber-space. (Sadly, in the year 3000, I expect the debate regarding whether to refer to robotic creatures as, ‘it, that’ or, ‘he/she, who and you,’ is likely to be unresolved?)

This modest delay before playing FOR ALL THE MARBLES, will also give Charles plenty of time to get to Mars, via The Tesla Shuttle, so he can catch the game with me.

Prior to kickoff versus The Phoenix University Pythons, coached by a top-of-the-line Nick Saban clone, I’m going to take Charles out to my club There he will witness my tee shots routinely flying 1,000+ yards in the Martian atmosphere. And the nano-tech, improved golf balls, always flying straight and true. Of course, when putted, these Titlist PRO V XXX balls always end up in the bottom of the cup.

I’m playing better than the little dude who ran North Korea back in the day!

The only downside? There will be a delay of 20 minutes between the actual game telecast and the time prior to the signal reaching The Red Planet Republic. But for young men like Charles and moi, who gives a whip about delays?

GO DUCKS!

PS – On the down low. With the Ducks likely wearing the NIKE Warp Speed Kicks and dressing in the NIKE, ‘Now You See Me, Now You Don’t,’ Invisibility Cloak Uniforms, I plan on taking the Ducks, laying the -99, and also wagering on the Over 219.

FishIceCream

Although everything about college football is about “what have you done for me lately,” and can you convince a panel of “experts” that your team meets the eye test – because as we all know when there are five “power five conferences” plus Notre Dame and often a deserving non-P5-team every year, who do not play each other or have any semblance of comparison, it all comes down to expectations and “paper” based comparisons such as how highly their recruiting classes are rated – (takes a deep breath) or about the eye test,

How many times has Oregon been arguably within a game of winning the entirely made-up and hypothetical national championship?

2002 Fiesta Bowl – Oregon #4, Colorado #3, many pundits that year felt Oregon should have been in the national championship game.
2011 Nat. Championship – Oregon #2, Auburn #1, a late field goal away from overtime.

2015 Nat. Championship – Oregon #2, Ohio State #4, overwhelmed in the fourth quarter.

Looking back, I think you will see that there have been some down years between those high marks – but there have been some obvious bounce backs.

I will fully admit – I am not much of a baseball fan! The closest major league team growing up was Seattle, and I’d rather support a dead skunk than support any team from Seattle! I played through Babe Ruth, but was never any good at it – I switched to track in HS and had a lot more fun and success. SO – I say (tongue in cheek but not too much!) don’t put the Ducks on the 80 year track. It ain’t baseball, and we are due within a few years to get another shot at it!

Cheers!

30Duck

The best shot the Ducks might have had at it was 2007.

Jon Joseph

No doubt, 2002, the Ducks should have played Miami in the Rose Bowl for a BCS title.

Nebraska going instead changed the input of the computers the following year.

BUT, that was a great Miami team. For those who preferred the Ducks in 2019 playing Wisky in the Rose Bowl instead of playing \LSU in the Peach Bowl, catching CU in the Fiesta Bowl in 20o2 was a far easier ask.

I was a pretty good baseball player before I saw my first curve ball thrown by Joey Pitigliano.. A guy who had a cup of coffee with the Yankees way back in the day. That was the day I knew with certainty that MLB was off my radar.

Haywarduck

The Cristo Ball Breakers.

Jon Joseph

Thanks 30. Does Garcia continue to have SC on his list of potential schools?

Garcia was 1 of 2 highly rated QBs to have ‘committed’ to the Trojans in this recruiting cycle, I am not surprised he decommitted.

Is this the young man who left CA and went to Georgia so he could play this season?

Jon Joseph

Answered my question. He is the young man who left CA and played his senior HS year in Georgia.

He is now reputedly a Miami lean with FSU in the mix.

All of the guys leaving the Left Coast and the Midwest for that matter, to play in the south is not a good sign for the future of CFB out west.

The BCS and this BCS x 2 elevated the SEC, and kind of with FSU and Clemson, the ACC. Led to Ohio State being the King Kong of the B1G and hosed the B12 (with the exception of OK) and the Pac-12.

The genie is not going back into the bottle. Somehow, someway, the kids leaving the west coast need to be convinced to stay at home.

Beyond SC hiring Urban Meyer, I think it will take a realignment of B12 and Pac-12 schools, for schools west of the Mississippi to be competitive in recruiting and on the field?

Pac-12 kickoffs Saturday EST – Stanford at UW – 4 PM; Oregon at CAL and CU at AZ – 7 PM, OSU at Utah and UCLA at ASU – 10:30 PM.

SC vs WSU, 7:30 PM Sunday, going up against the late NFL game.

The highest rated telecast in 2020 to date for the Pac-12? SC vs ASU, a game that kicked off at noon eastern time.

Far more Left Coast kickoffs need to kick off at 7 PM or earlier, east coast time.

Logger29

Jon, my over riding concern is the future of western football. I agree with your appraisal of the current state and projection of the future for not just the PAC-12 but Big-12 and even the Mountain West.

I don’t want to see our conference fall to the MAC level. I’m not sure some member schools wouldn’t see such a decline to national second tier status, if it meant they would be more competitive, as a bad thing. It would allow them to step back from the financial commitment they now face(I won’t name these institutions, just abbreviations- OSU, WSU, CU, AU, UC).

I don’t want to sound like a Johnny One Note, but the first step to reinvigorating our conference is the dismissal of Larry ( women’s tennis, east coast guy) Scott. Replace him with a football guy from the west. Then the ADs need to sit the school presidents down and have the ‘come to Jesus’ talk, basically “Are we in or out?” Honestly, if some schools want to go cheap and opt out it’s “how can we miss you if never leave?” as far as I’m concerned.

Of course, this would mean the remaining schools either seek to reform the conference by adding schools like BYU, BSU, Air Force? Or, USC, UW, UO, UCLA link up with the Big-12. Oregon already recruits out of region and other schools are following suit. Maybe the home grown western talent would stop heading east.

One thing is for sure, things will not change unless we start thinking outside the current box Larry has constructed.

BigDucksFan

Totally agree with you, Larry has to go and the sooner the better for all of Pac-12. Also the school presidents that support him and are not doing their job of overseeing him need to go.

Jon Joseph

And I also take Logger’s other point to heart. If you are not willing to or can’t, step up financial, then do please head to the MW.

Oregon cannot continue to carry a bunch of teams because of tradition.

BigDucksFan

Before that I think it has to be decided if UO is going to stay in the Pac-12 or not. No sense putting effort into he Pac if UO, USC, Wash are heading out of it.

30Duck

That is so true. If UW & USC want to join Oregon, that probably helps. But Oregon NEEDS to stop treading water. It is the brand of the Pac-12, in MBB, WBB, Softball, and are still the reigning champion in football. But what are all these great recruiting classes good for if they never get invited to the Invitational?

Oregon needs to find a situation where all of the talent it has accumulated can win National Championships. Last year, the Lady Ducks were favored to win it all, but they didn’t even get the chance. Oregon has to look at that as a sign. It just isn’t going to happen up here.

BigDucksFan

All good points. IMO, if some of the Pac schools are going to join other conferences we are limited. I would think not all conferences want to travel completely across country to play in conference games. Half way would be far enough and acceptable.

The key to me would be you have to be a wining school. The more you win the more other conferences will want you because that is what brings in the $$$$. Oregon just needs to keep being the best.

Jon Joseph

BDF, if it is about the $ and it is, Oregon should be balling with OK and TX as partners. TX TECH and OK ST have more fans watching their games than on average, watch Ducks games.

BigDucksFan

I would watch more Duck games but they are on so late. (after sunset on the West coast and almost tomorrow in the East)

Jon Joseph

Spot On! Oregon in so many ways has been carrying this conference since Pete Carroll left LA.

Should Oregon be satisfied with giving an even share to many Pac-12 teams that are not willing to step it up CBB and CFB budget-wise?

Jon Joseph

Who knows BDF?

Is there going to be a heart beat left in CFB ball out west?

OK and TX would be welcomed into the SEC,

BigDucksFan

Ouch

Jon Joseph

Great take. I think BYU for any # of reasons is a non-starter. Boise, AFA and Boise add no significant media market share and all 3 play in small stadiums.

I see some kind reconfiguration with the B12 being the likely way and most financially sound way to go?

Either way, Larry needs to take his tennis balls back east!

David Marsh

Biggest hurtle to try and add schools like Boise State are the academic standards. Boise State and many schools in the Group of 5 Mountain West don’t have the same academic standards as the Pac-12.

You bring up a good point Jon about media markets… the Pac-12 really has all the media markets out west of Texas that have any significant value. Nevada doesn’t offer much in terms of teams and Idaho has Boise State but doesn’t offer much of a media market.

Right now the Pac-12 really needs the 8-team playoff for a garenteed playoff seat for the champion. Then the prospect of competeing for a playoff spot becomes something that recruits can viably achieve yearly at a Pac-12 school.

Jon Joseph

David, great take. Hopefully, an 8 team playoff instead of 4 team invitational will hep the Pac-12?

But the Pac-12 champ will have to, at least, win a 1st round game.

Notalot

And the Cynic says….
-The Sieve
-Not quite ready for prime time players
-Flat Out Crew
-Flatline
-Big Boyz

Jon Joseph

‘FLATLINE?’ That’s right up there with the Delta House’s, ‘Flounder!’

I mean, ‘The Sieve’ is chilly, but ‘Flatline?’ That’s Ice Cold!

LOL and love it!

30Duck

The Great Wall Of Ducks

BigDucksFan

“A work in progress”

Jon Joseph

The WIPS?

NO! Too close to my putting YIPS! And dangerously close to WIMPS!

BigDucksFan

Ha, ha, nice one.

How about “Our way”.

Jon Joseph

Did you mean, ‘Ole!’