We Pac-12 fans, who have suffered so much under the failed generalship of Larry Scott, really deserve a smile at his expense. I hope the following offerings will provide you some.
Jon Hoffman, who posted a delightful parody about the Huskies here on FishDuck.com a couple of years ago, graciously helped me out. He took the lyrics that I had written, tweaked them a skoosh and put them to music. We recorded this video last Thursday. Enjoy! And thank you Jon!
A Tribute to Larry Scott (to the tune of “That’s Amore“ by Dean Martin and you gotta hear a minute of this, or better yet…have it going in the background and then follow along with Jon)
“You’re A Moron”
(Lyrics to Video below)
Thanks to you we all weep, you’re the boss, you’re a creep, and a moron
Snatched your bonus and laughed while you fired half your staff, greedy moron!
San Fran rent is so high, but you don’t blink an eye as you ponder
Pac12’s on the shelf, while you care for yourself, as you squander.
Whether Husky or Duck, Pac12 channels still suck, you’re a moron.
With features galore from 1984, you’re a moron.
Half the country can’t see, it’s not on their TV, they ignore you
And with games late at night, sleepy fans just won’t bite, we deplore you.
When you waste so much cash, treat our conference like trash, you’re a moron!
When your leadership style is a doggy-doo pile, you’re a moron!
You continue to dote, turning champions to goats, you’re a menace
You should go, take it on the chin, give us all a grin, stick to ping pong or tennis.
When the Pac 12 plays nine, SEC thinks that’s fine, you’re a moron!
When you fold in the clutch, and you lack any touch, you’re a moron!
We don’t want your milquetoast, pack your bags, adios, take your bon-bons
Limo Larry’s bye bye, we already know why, . . .you’re a moron!
The Limerick Chasers
There once was a commish named Scott,
Who himself seemed his every thought.
While under his crown,
The Pac-12 slid down,
To the Power Five Conference’s bot–tom.
His dealings were all so inept,
That Pac presidents tore hair and wept.
Each day they would pray
That he’d just go away,
Since his tenure was nothing but sept–tic.
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Yeah, I know, those italicized last syllables didn’t quite work, did they? Well, Larry Scott’s tour in the Pac-12 hasn’t quite worked, either.
But at least we can fix the limericks!
Lou Farnsworth, AKA “Homer Duck”
Fontana, CA
Top Photo from Twitter
Andrew Mueller, the FishDuck.com Volunteer Editor for this article, works in higher education in Chicago, Illinois.
Lou was raised in Eugene. He moved there in 1959, at the age of nine, when his father joined the faculty at the U of O. The first Duck football game that he can remember occurred at Hayward field: a 1963 loss to San Jose State. After serving in the Army from 1968-70, he returned to Eugene, worked in the woods for a few years; and then eventually earned a degree in Mathematics Education from the U of O in 1976. For the past 43 years he has taught secondary mathematics, mostly in southern California. He lives there with Shawn, his wife of 37 years, who is also an Oregon alum. Together they have two sons and a daughter. He retired in June of 2019. When Shawn retires in June of 2021 they will be moving to Pueblo, Colorado.
