Ducks Travel to East Lansing Asking, “Where?”

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The Oregon Ducks got the kinks out offensively last week against Eastern Washington (and played defense somewhat offensively at the same time, but we’re not going there today) in preparation for the meatier part of the schedule. This week, the Michigan State Spartans host the Mightys at Spartan Stadium in East Lansing, Michigan. FishDuck.com sent their crack staff (me and an acne-scarred intern with a flip phone) on the road to research Michigan State.

Man! Last time I worked for Fish the travel budget was a lot better!

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Man! Last time I worked for Fish the travel budget was a lot better!

Oregon and Michigan actually have a lot in common. The largest cities in the state are vibrant hubs of culture and artistry. Smaller cities house the government offices. In other words, Detroit is Portland and Salem is Lansing. Unfortunately the similarities end there.

Welcome to Eugene!

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Welcome to Eugene! We’re sure you’ll enjoy yourself.

Welcome to East Lansing! We dare you to enjoy yourself.

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Welcome to East Lansing! We dare you to enjoy yourself.

One of the things I like to do when I visit another team’s hometown is to get a handle on the uniqueness to be found there. Who can forget our trip to Knoxville where we learned about the local industry?

Probably why those folks were so hospitable, even while getting crushed.

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Probably why those folks were so hospitable, even while getting crushed.

Or the first time I went to Corvallis and saw what passes for a good time there.

Corvallis Daily Blather Headline: Sept. 9, 1991

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Corvallis Daily Blather Headline: Sept. 9, 1991

So you can imagine how excited I was to have a chance to see what makes Michigan State University special. Oregon is well-known for Fulbright Scholars, Pulitzer Prize winners (humbly I won’t name names) and even a Nobel Laureate or two. What can MSU offer? My intern and I dug in to find out. What we found shocked us to our core.

We were shocked to find out that not a single student at Michigan State University had ever amounted to anything.

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Not a single student in the history of Michigan State University has ever amounted to anything.

Like in the case of the State of Oregon, the “State” university has been a drain on society from its inception. While the University of Michigan has produced some of the nation’s finest minds and Harvard is known as “Oregon with an Amusing Accent” OSU and MSU have combined to produce…

Zip

moirawillenov.deviantart.com

Zip

So, when Oregon takes the field on Saturday evening know the team against whom we strive is made up of talented and trained athletes.

But that there is something sadly and fatally wrong with the people who root for them...as well as the ones who letter their jerseys.

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But grieve, as well. For there is something sadly and fatally wrong with the people who root for them…as well as the ones who letter their jerseys.

Go Ducks! Splatter the Spartans!

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 Volunteer Position Openings:

--Media Management/Supervisor:  We are looking for someone beyond college age who can help manage students and mentor in a number of different departments. Expertise is not required as organizational skills and interest in guiding others.   --Assistant Football Analyst: Love college football and enjoy watching it for hours? We need associates to view games and find the techniques/teaching points we identify for them in advance.  You will be recognized in publications, and could have the opportunity to move to full Analyst.   --College Football Analyst: We are looking for Coaches, or retired coaches to help create analysis videos (we do the video part) that will be viewed by thousands, and will help young football players as well as fans understand the game much better. The national recognition will help your resume' as well as make an impact upon the game we all dearly love.   --Video Specialist: We are looking for help in the Eugene/Springfield area to assist with the shooting and editing of analysis videos.   All Positions: Send a resume' with full contact information and any writing samples you have to charles@fishduck.com  Again, these are volunteer positions donating five hours a week each.

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • Stephen Dravis

    Figured out where yet, tool?

  • Craig

    Why does this site post these articles? They aren’t funny and their really rude. Sportsmanship matters…so does class.

    • Craig

      They’re*