Fare Thee Well

Well, it looks like FishDuck.com is going away, at least in its current high content, fast moving iteration. That being the case I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you and farewell to all who have made this journey so enjoyable. To the schools at whose expense I have plowed the most fertile ground. Then to the FishDuck folks themselves.

But first to the loyal readers of the site in general and my stuff in particular.

To those who have enjoyed the fruits of my labor for the last 4+ years, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your support, praise and constructive criticism have been my lifeblood. I couldn’t have, and wouldn’t have, done it without you.

To all of you, my gratitude

To all of you, my gratitude.

To those of you who haven’t enjoyed what I have had to say, particularly those of you who chose to tell me so:

I think that pretty well says it.

I think that pretty well says it.

To the Schools in Utah: To Big Love in Ogden, Little Big Love in Salt Lake City and Littlest Big Love in Logan, thanks for joining the conference. Please try to do something about the smell of the big salty cesspool.

How ca an entire state smell like a Corvallis sheep pen?


How can an entire state smell like a Corvallis sheep pen?

To the Colorado Buffaloes: I have truly enjoyed visiting Boulder, Estes Park and Pike’s Peak. I appreciate all the weed floating around. I know it helps you forget the product on the field.

University of Colorado Board of Regents


University of Colorado Board of Regents

To the Pac-12 Schools in California: In all seriousness I genuinely appreciate the academic excellence and the coeds at Stanford, Cal, and UCLA. I’m sure I would appreciate the academics and coeds at USC if I wasn’t terrified to go near campus.

USC Pep Rally


USC Pep Rally

To Washington State: For those who choose to matriculate at WSU in Pullman:

At long last can you at least answer this one question?

At long last can you at least answer this one question?

To Washington: U-Dub. The proud University of Washington. The Huskies! You know, I used to sit at my great-grandfather’s knee and hear him tell stories of how good you used to be.

Of course, I have no personal knowledge of such a thing ever being the case. But I do enjoy the flags in Seattle which talk about our winning streak over you. Pretty sportsmanlike, is all I can say. Well done.

Hopefully in three years there will be "15" flags.


Hopefully in three years there will be “15” flags.

Finally, to Oregon State: I genuinely hope there haven’t been any hard feelings about the way you have been portrayed on this, and every other reputable, website. But it has been for your own good.

Friends, you suck in ways heretofore thought impossible. Select any random 11 people off the street in Eugene and put up a more representative effort on the football field than what you have over the last 100 years.

These guys, for example. Get them to sign a waiver and put them on that turd-water field in that Hatfield/McCoy Stadium and have them try. It couldn't be any worse!


These guys, for example. Get them to sign a waiver and put them on that turd-water field in that Hatfield/McCoy Stadium and have them try. It couldn’t be any worse!

My friends, if you go to Oregon State University you have to live in Corvallis. But you don’t have to become that incorporated Honey Bucket. Have some self-respect! Grow up! You’re better than this! Look just 40 miles south to see what you can become if you will but try.

Look at what it is doing to your parents. And they are only 38 years old!


Look at what it is doing to your parents. And they are only 38 years old!

To the Staff and Management of FishDuck: Thank you so much for all you have done to make me look, well, articulate, if not good. I have had a lot of editors, but I want to mention just a few. Dano, you are known as The Stud of Siuslaw, and I know why.

Junnelle, you left to become a Rhodes Scholar, an Oxfordite, or a fugitive from the law. Whichever, I’m sure you are enjoying England.

Natalie, you have been my editor lately. You live in Kalispell. Darlin’ you might as well be in Pullman. Make better choices.

To Charles, the founder and savant of FishDuck.com. Thanks for everything, my friend. You have made the site one of the shooting stars on the Internet. Your fame will live beyond eternity.

(Interoffice note: Is that okay, or do you want me to talk about how handsome and debonair you are, too?)

Thanks again, everyone.

This is where the caption would go if the picture needed one. But it doesn't. Sue me.


This is where the caption would go if the picture needed one. But it doesn’t. Sue me.

Go Ducks!

Top photo by www.hopespeak.com




Print Friendly
Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings

Kim Hastings is a 1984 graduate of Northwest Christian College. He cut his journalistic teeth as sports editor of a paper in his home town of Fortuna, CA, and, later as a columnist for the Longview Daily News in Longview, WA. He saw his first Oregon game in 1977 and never missed a home game from 1981 until a bout with pneumonia cut his streak short in 1997. He was one of the proud 3200 on a bitterly cold night in Shreveport, Louisiana in 1989 for the Independence Bowl, and continues to be big supporter of Oregon sports. He is an active participant on the various Oregon Ducks messageboards as "TacomaDuck."

  • Kim…you made me laugh again!

    The skills that you and so many writers have as part of this site continues to impress (or would that be haunt) me….but then everyone knows that I am easily amused.

    You COULD have talked about how handsome I am–and confirmed to all that YES, this is a humor column.

    The experience of FishDuck.com is something I wish everyone could live-out as I have, in terms of the personal growth and valued new friendships. Yet managing the site is not something I would wish on anyone that I care about; as it has been an awful hassle to say the least over the last four and a half years.

    FishDuck.com is not going away, but we are moving off an official schedule next week, meaning that we will have articles up each week, but not as many as before. So favorite writers like Kim will not be here every week, but in a flexible format, and will return on occasion when they have something to say or an opponent to skewer.

    I will elaborate with more information next week–but reducing our articles to fewer, but high quality when published, is our intent. The site will always be here,….as a “Consortium of Volunteer Writers and Editors who love the Ducks.”

    I cannot tell you how many times I’ve settled down for a nice cup of Java to read Kim’s humor articles over the last four years (200 of them!)…and ended spurting some it out when I hit one of his zingers. So much fun….

    Thank you Kim.


  • Natalie Liebhaber

    HEY! It’s Bozeman, and I’m revoking your invitation.

    …Only kidding. Best wishes to you, Kim! Thanks for the weekly laugh.

  • GoDucks

    I’m a bit of a late arrival, but let me say that I’ve enjoyed your articles. More important, thanks for the contributions. It’s people like you that make a site like this worth visiting.

  • Krsmqn

    “May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks”